Mama worries

The same week Owen turned four months I was nursing him just before bedtime and he started to shake. His eyes rolled back in his head and his head and arms were shaking rhythmically. Jeremy was at work that night so I wasn't sure what to do. I pulled him off the breast and tried to wake him up - I wasn't sure if he passed out or had fallen asleep. He sort of opened his eyes and his pupils looked like tiny pins. He went right back to sleep. I tried to stay calm, and called Jeremy. I didn't know if it was a seizure or what had just happened to my precious baby - all I knew was that it was really scary.

Jeremy came home shortly after and asked me again what happened and checked on Owen. We had his 4-month visit in a few days so we decided to ask then - unless it happened again.

I brought it up with O's new pediatrician and he said if Owen was at the breast, transitioning to sleep, and then stopped shaking when I woke him that it was probably a benign myoclonic jerk. He said it was kind of like when adults are falling asleep and we twitch a little. He said it can be more pronounced in babies. Since it had only happened that one time, it wasn't anything to be worried about.

Over the next few weeks it was happening more and more until a few weeks ago when it happened every day at both nap time and bedtime. Each time I would wake him because it was so unsettling. The frequency started to worry me, so when I went to the pediatrician for the lactation appointment I brought it up again. They decided to order an EEG for my little babe.

Last Friday, on Daddy's only day off, we were back at Children's hospital for the EEG. I was told the test would take 90 minutes and I needed to bring O tired and hungry, "try not to let your baby sleep for 2-3 hours prior to testing" the lady on the phone said. YEAH. RIGHT. We ended up getting an earlier appointment so it had been about two hours since O had eaten or slept. By the time we arrived he was hungry and tired.

When the tech called us she said, "Okay we're ready for Owen." Jeremy and I both stood up.

"Oh, Dad - you can wait out here."

This was her first mistake.

No. absolutely not. Both me and my husband are coming back.

Okay, suite yourselves but this test takes over an hour.

We know.

When we got back to the room, she grabbed Owen from me and started wrapping his arms down in a sheet and strapping him down to a table. Owen was screaming, my poor tired, hungry boy. She is frantically pasting the leads onto his little head - all 23 of them. Then she says,

Do you have a bottle or pacifier?

No, he doesn't take a bottle or pacifier. I breastfeed him.

Well, they should have told you when you scheduled - he has to remain completely still in this position. Do you want me to get a pacifier for him?

No. I told you he doesn't TAKE a pacifier. (Owen screams louder) And he is hungry!

Well, he's going to have to wait an hour before he can eat. I need him like this.

I started to get really upset and cry. Jeremy tried to calm me down and communicate our concerns to the tech. We explained what we were told on the phone and that we brought our own swaddle, which would keep him much calmer than what she was doing to him. We were told that we needed to recreate the environment in which the shaking episodes happen and that meant to breastfeed him when he was tired.

The lady could see that I was obviously upset. All I kept thinking in my head is THIS IS NOT WHAT IS BEST FOR MY BABY. THIS IS NOT HOW THIS IS GOING TO GO.

I had Jeremy take the Woombie out of the bag. I told her we were going to use that instead of strapping him to the table and I would pull a chair close to the leads so I could feed him.

Well, when people breastfeed they are all over the place, baby is wiggling, mom is switching breasts.

I assured her that Owen stays completely still, eats and falls asleep.

And as soon as we zipped our little pumpkin into his swaddle, he snuggled up on his Mama, ate and fell asleep.

The lady was amazed. Then Jeremy decided to tell her that he was a RESIDENT ON THE SURGERY FLOOR. I think the lady almost shit. her. pants.

Owen did beautifully for the test. It broke my heart to see all of those leads on his head, but I knew he wasn't in pain and I was with him. He slept through most of the test and then fussed a little at the end. She showed him some flashing lights and then we were done. Mr. O was all smiles as we left - icky, sticky hair and all.

We received the results of the test yesterday and it was completely normal. Yay for my baby!! If he were having actual seizures everyday, chances are the EEG would not have been normal. Also, being able to wake him up to stop the shaking was a good sign that it was not true seizure activity. SO we're going with benign myoclonic jerks and the doctor says he will probably outgrow them.

I am glad we took the extra precaution. It gives me peace of mind now when the episodes happen. I am also glad we advocated for what was right for our baby. And I will never hesitate to do it again.

uh, even now these pictures make me a little sad - sweet boy in his spider-man onesie. He WAS a superhero that day!

Nursing boy, completely still

Mama loves you angel

As soon as we got home, Daddy snuggled our chubster before we put him in the bath to scrub all the icky paste off his head

Very thankful for our perfect boy.

Happy Friday!

Love,
Owen

Meet the penguin and the panda

We're on a tight budget with me not working, so we're trying not to go overboard buying things for Owen. However, we noticed he's starting to get bored on his play mat and won't stand the bouncer for longer than about five minutes (can you blame him, at this point what fun is a vibrating chair?) I needed something that I could safely put him in and he can't escape (see rolling baby post)while I make dinner or fold laundry. I can't wear him in the kitchen anymore because he swats at everything. So we decided to get him an exersaucer. We read some reviews and found a coupon for Babies R Us, and we went with the Baby Einstein Disney version. He is still a little bit too short for it, but we put a towel under him and he doesn't seem to have a problem navigating his way around to the toys. There is a piano on it and I showed him how to use it ONE TIME and then I saw him pounding away at it - MY SMART BOY!! As you can see, he is particularly fond of eating those three colored rings that slide on the blue track. This toy gets dinner made and THAT is a success!

Look at all that fluffy red hair on top!

If you'd excuse me, I was about to drool on these...

Apparently blue foam is delish-ISH

These monkey pajamas are SOOOOO incredibly adorable on Mr. O, it breaks my heart that they are 6 month and his toes are almost busting out. I am going to shove his little legs in it for as long as I possibly can because there is nothing cuter in the morning than a little green monkey baby in his Bumbo.

As you can see, some of Owen's hair has started to fall out. He has a bald patch in the back where he sleeps on it. We are anxious to know if he will still be our red-headed boy once his hair grows back. Some of the wispy hair coming in underneath looks blonde - we'll see!

Looks Mama - I won't eat solids but I'll eat my Bumbo chair!

*Note: As you can see, Owen is extra wiggly in his bumbo chair so I NEVER leave him unattended in it - it just appears that way when I'm taking pictures of him!

Maybe not ready just yet...

This face is telling you "I WANT MY MILK!"

Daddy was home the other day to try rice cereal with our little bug, as he was feeding him he was laughing hysterically, I came over and asked what was wrong...

"I don't know where you got that baby in the video clip, but THIS baby does NOT eat rice cereal!"

And I looked over as Owen was spitting out everything his Daddy had carefully spooned into his mouth into a nice round mushy pile on his tray... and then proceeded to slap it with his abnormally large baby hands.

The books say to offer half a nursing before offering the solids. Mr. Owen DOES NOT LIKE THIS. Ha, "the books" also say that when nursing - once a baby is done on one breast you can take him off, burp him and offer the second breast. Not Owen, if I don't swiftly move him over to the other side all hell breaks loose. Burping? Yeah right, he'll burp, fart and choke mid-feeding - think nothing of it, and go right back to the task at hand. So trying to pause between boobs - unheard of in our house. This "half a feeding" stuff just pisses him off and I have to spend ten minutes calming him down and trying to explain that I am going to offer him some DELISH-ISH rice cereal and then after we try that, I'll offer him the second breast. Reasoning with a baby is a total waste of air.

So today, my brilliant idea was to go right to rice cereal after he woke up from his afternoon nap. I figured we'd skip the second breast fight and he'd be extra hungry for some yummy cereal. WRONG. First off, he looked at me like I was crazy after I changed his diaper and didn't nurse him. Then when I put him in the bumbo he gave me a grumpy face. When I tried to offer the cereal he took it into his mouth and again spit it all over the tray. ALL OF IT. I don't think a single bit even accidentally slid down his throat. Then when I cleaned him off and grabbed him out of the chair he started pulling frantically at my shirt.

I nursed him (with the double-boob special) and he was happy as a clam (are clams really that happy?)

He's also slept 11 hours for me the last two nights, with only a dream feed between 11pm-12am (I pull him into bed, feed him, he eats but doesn't wake up and then I lay him back in the cosleeper - full and asleep) and he wakes up between 7-9am. Since he's hardly getting any rice cereal to speak of, that can't be attributable to the change so perhaps our little growth spurt is over (for now).

So, I decided I'm going to back off on the cereal/solids for a while. I have plenty of milk, since he's increased my supply, I'm back to freezing between 8-12 ounces a day on top of what I feed him. We'll go back to our routine of on demand feeding during the day and we'll see how it goes for a while. I actually don't mind feeding him at night, its just him and me. He's sleepy and warm and I just stare at him in the low light. Thankful for the time, the experience, for my boy.

Because even though eating rice cereal is cute, he's still my little baby and right now, he just wants his Mama's milk.

Swimming, swimming, in the swimming pool

We've been meaning to take O to the pool for quite some time, but wanted to wait until he was bigger and until we could all go as a family. Jeremy came off of a 30 hrs shift yesterday and took a quick nap so that we could spend the afternoon together. Our pediatrician said to try to avoid sunscreen on Owen until he is 6 months old, so we waited until the afternoon when the sun wasn't quite so hot. We bought a swim shirt and trunks for him and a hat - that is a little too big, but the other one we had is too small now.

We loaded Owen up with his swim gear and headed to the JCC pool. There is a cute little "mushroom" area for kids with some grass and shade so we set up camp there. The water was COLDER than expected (we figured all of the kiddo urine would warm up that little pool - but no chance) but O was content to sit in the water and watch the other kids play. He always seems to prove us wrong when our expectations are low, we figured he'd scream like holy hell and we'd be out of there in a half hour.

We had a wonderful time, and once O got hungry and fussy we knew it was time to get out.

My boys, ready to swim!

All smiles in the pool with Mama

Daddy shows Owen how to kick, kick ,kick your feet

But Owen would rather just watch the other kids play than practice his swimming

In the mushroom waterfall with Mama, Owen doesn't care

but Mama is COLD!

O's favorite part - drying off. This boy *loves* to be nekked!

Aww, wrinkly baby foot

Rice, Rice Baby!

Owen has been showing signs that he is ready for solid foods for a few weeks now. We noticed he stares intently at what we are eating and occasionally swipes at it. He can hold his head up unassisted and has more than doubled his birth weight. Right at 4 months Owen had a growth spurt and was eating around the clock every 2 hrs. We put away all of his 3 month clothes and washed all of his 6-month stuff... only to discover that most of the 6 month stuff won't button/zip!

He evened out his sleeping for a while, but then last week started waking during the night again. We put him to bed at 8pm and I used to pump at 11pm before I went to sleep. Now he eats that feeding instead. Sometimes eats at 9pm and 11:45pm which only gets us to 4:45am (if we're lucky, sometimes we have a 2am feeding). This is making for one tired Mama. I know he is getting full feedings because he pops off the breast and turns his head away when he is full.

I went to see a lactation consultant at our pediatrician this week because Owen has been restless during feedings. Popping on and off the breast and squeezing it with both hands. She said this is typical for babies his age, but she thought he might be telling us he's ready for something more. The pediatrician stopped in and said he was doing great - gained over 10 ounces in the last 14 days, which we already knew since nothing fits! The general AAP guidelines are to wait until 6 months to start solids - but each child is different. Owen is about a week away from his 5-month birthday and we felt he was ready.

I have been reading the "baby food bible" as they call it, Super Food by Ruth Yaron. It is a WONDERFUL read for feeding babies and the people I know that have used this program - their toddlers eat ANYTHING. Here's hoping, right?

We went with Earth's Best organic rice cereal for Owen's first solid. I mixed it with warm breast milk until it was very, very runny. I gave him about a tablespoon of cereal, mixed with 2 Tbsp of breastmilk for his first feeding. He only ate about half, but did a great job.

I had so many mixed emotions when I fed him. Happy that my baby is growing so big and strong, sad that he is no longer a teeny, tiny cub who needs only my milk for nourishment. And in the end, I was so proud - because this boy ate cereal like a champ!

I took a video because Daddy was working and wanted to see Mr. O chow down. Please forgive the wobbly camera and "enthusiastic Mommy voice"



The best part about it was, today, when I put Owen in the bumbo to try again. This is what I saw.

I think he was ready ;)

4 month photo shoot...

was a total bust.

I tried to take O's picture a few weeks ago with his "I'm 4 months" sticker. Gone are the days of a posed baby and an unscathed sticker that Mama was hoping to save. This boy would NOT cooperate. I even waited until after his long nap so he'd be fed and rested. Nope.

He wiggled and he flashed only occasional smiles. He grabbed at the sticker and eventually ripped it off... and ate it.

So THIS is what it looks like to be 4 months ;)

(click to see larger pictures)

An evening with Mama

Tonight Owen was a little bit fussy, we went on a long walk and he took a short cat nap but still had about an hour before bath and bedtime. He was whimpering and doing some cry-smile for me. I just wanted to snuggle my little bug tonight so I stripped him down to his diaper, took off my shirt and wrapped him in tight to the Moby wrap, skin-to-skin.

I kept him there while I finished cleaning up and heated some left overs for my dinner. He was nice and calm when I took him out and placed him in a warm tub. Lots of splashes for Mama tonight - then nursed to sleep.



I guess sometimes, even on a hot summer night, a baby boy just needs his Mama.

Not staying put

Yesterday, I placed Mr. O vertical IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS PLAYMAT and he was contently playing with his colored teething toy. I turned around for one minute to get the banana bread out of the oven...

and THIS is what I came back to


and when I asked him how he got all the way over there, this was his reply.

Bath!

Wordless Wednesday

Splish Splash

Owen splashed in the bath for the first time tonight and my cheeks still hurt from smiling :)

Your Daily Dose of Owen

Happy Friday!

Owen is

... wearing size 2 diapers

... wearing size 6 months clothes now

... rolling onto his tummy whenever we put him on his back

... grabbing toys and putting them in his mouth

... sitting upright in his Bumbo chair

... starting to show interest in big-people food

... giggling when we squeeze his butt

... on a regular nap/bedtime schedule now

... the absolute love of my life

Public Health NO NO

I should know better, I really should. But who can resist fruit pizza? Apparently, not me. We were invited to two (TWO!) 4th of July BBQ's this past weekend (both invites made through mommy groups, I rock at making friends). For the Sunday affair, I decided to be festive and make a flag-themed fruit pizza (and rushed out the door without taking a picture of it's awesomeness...) We had a great time at the party, Mr. Owen was a sweaty mess but loves to be social and LOVES to watch other kids play. The host insisted we take food home (the same food that sat out in 90 degree heat for 3+ hours), so I loaded up my tray and brought it home and PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE. I. AM. AN IDIOT.

Of course I thought nothing of it when I had another slice (or four) of my delishISH fruit pizza for lunch on Monday.

...Until Tuesday morning at 1am when I was BARFING MY BLOODY BRAINS OUT.

My first thought... Oh shit, I'M PREGNANT!! And you can imagine my relief when a few hours later it started to come out both ends (relief? What?)

(Side note: I definitely want to have another child one day. But not today or any day soon. I need to figure out this child first. And I swear having a baby is the best form of birth control EVER. I've never in my life been more terrified of getting pregnant... and I pretty much have the cutest baby on the planet. Nuff Said.)

Jeremy wakes up to go to work at 4am and finds me rushing to the toilet (for the third time that morning). I walked him out to the kitchen to say goodbye, AND FILLED THE SINK. It was bad, very very bad. Did I mention we don't have a garbage disposal? Right, mega gross. Needless to say this was one of my most challenging days as stay-at-home Mamma yet. Owen is going through a growth spurt right now and trying to master rolling over. As a result, he has been waking every 1-3 hours during the night to eat. During the day he eats about every 1-2 hours. Right. A LOT OF EATING. So with a cranky baby and a dehydrated, pooh-barfing Mamma - I did what any other reasonable woman in my situation would do.

I let my 4 month old son watch TV.

And he loved it.

And I spent the afternoon running back and forth to the bathroom and trying to drink enough fluids to make milk (and not pass out). Finally around 3pm I started to spike fever and I felt like my body was about to collapse... and Jeremy came home early from work with some Gatorade and an anti-nausea prescription. THANK GOD FOR THIS MAN. That prescription was by far the first perk of being a doctor's resident's wife, I only had to VOM for 14 straight hours instead of 24. SCORE.

Owen also gave me a present and slept through the night. The first 7-hr stretch of sleep I've gotten since his birth and went I woke up, I felt awesome - until I realized my chest was about to explode. And I promptly woke my son for a morning milk buffet.

Today I'm barely eating solids and my stomach still feels like I swallowed a mouse trap but at least I made it through. I'm alive, my baby is alive (and could probably tell you the score of Tuesday's FIFA soccer game) and I will NEVER eat bacteria-laden goodies again. EVER.

The end.

(p.s. We had hired a babysitter for Tuesday night to stay with O while we went out for crab for our Anniversary... needless to say... that didn't happen. Ah, life.)

Four Month Check Up!

Baby Owen has DOUBLED his birth weight!!!

Weight: 14 lbs 4 ounces - 38th percentile
Length: 25.5 inches - 70th percentile
Head circumference: 16.7 inches (42.5 cm) - 53rd percentile

Yesterday Mr. Owen had his 4-month visit with his new Doctor here in Pittsburgh. Our appointment was at 4:45pm so that Jeremy could come, since it was the first one we both wanted to be there to meet the new doctor (and Mamma HATES when O has to get shots). Owen usually naps from 5-6pm, so we were already entering cranky territory. Unfortunately, the doctor was running behind - WAY BEHIND. We had a cranky, down-to-diaper boy in the exam room and we accidentally took the swaddling blanket out of the diaper bag. Finally, I remembered there was one in the car and within two minutes of wrapping him up, he was snoozing away. The doctor finally saw us just after 6pm. He answered our questions first (my LOOOONG list of questions) and examined O last. He was a nice guy, and very up to date on current evidence-based literature. It will take some adjusting for me, as our pediatrician in Dayton was very touchy-feely-granola lady who was there for me through Owen's post-birth and eating saga. She always told me what a strong, beautiful Mamma I am and what a wonderful job I was doing with Owen. Do I need that kind of reinforcement? Hell yes, I eat it up.

The new doctor carefully unwrapped Owen and did most of his exam while he was still laying in my lap, which was very nice. He showed us how our boy was trending on the growth charts and said everything looks perfect! He said all that slobber doesn't necessarily mean teething, and was happy that Owen has met most of his 4-month milestones already.

• Bearing weight on legs
• lift and turns his head when lying on his belly
• holds head up when in sitting position
• responds to sounds and watches our faces
• tracks objects 180 degrees
• holds objects and brings them to his mouth
• Rolling over, both ways
• becoming vocal (cooing, squealing)
• plays with his hands and feet

Then it was time for his shots. This office has combo vaccines so this time, Owen only had three needle sticks and an oral vaccine (which he slurped down like a champ!) Our boy was none too happy with that nurse and cried the biggest crocodile tears I've ever seen. Uh, my heart breaks when we vaccinate our baby!

By the time we got home, it was SEVEN THIRTY! It was time for Owen to go to bed, and he was sleepy and happy to nurse. Unfortunately, he woke up every thirty minutes screaming or whimpering, half the time his eyes weren't even open - my poor boy. I just kept patting him back to sleep and finally at 3am I scooped him up and nursed him on and off until 630am (side note: Daddy leaves for work at 4:45am and we were up). I was so exhausted, so I brought the swing into our room and finally Owen (and Mamma) napped soundly from 630am-1130am.

He was pretty fussy today too and took a monster nap in the afternoon. Note to self: Schedule vaccine appointments IN THE MORNING.

I am so proud with how big and strong our little one has become. When I close my eyes, it's becoming harder and harder for me to see that tiny cub we brought home from the hospital, I feel like everyday when he wakes up he does something new!

My sweet boy!

View from above

This morning before he went down for his nap, Owen explained to me all of the reasons I shouldn't take him to the doctor today for his 4-month vaccines.

You gotta admit, it's pretty convincing...



We always put Owen down to sleep awake. At night he will listen to us read to him and then when he is done interacting with us and ready for bed, he turns his head away and goes to sleep. He never wants to be rocked to sleep or cuddled or hushed. He has always just wanted to be left alone. I've decided I'm okay with that.

This is the first thing I see every morning when I wake up. I look down on my smiling boy and he tells me a story. NOW do you understand why I'm not ready to move him into the nursery?

THAT is a pretty convincing argument.

Unemployment Rocks

As of 5pm today, I am officially unemployed.

This is my job.





And I gotta say, its the best damn job I've ever had.

Your Daddy is a doctor now

As of 5:30am this morning Jeremy was officially the pediatric surgery intern on service.

And when he got home from work, the first thing he did was snuggle his baby.