37.5 weeks pregnant (Note: Still PREGNANT!)

Went to the doctor today and she said I am not dilated but completely thinned and she could feel his head pushing down. Baby Brother had been a little less active the last few days and when they listened to his heartbeat on the doppler it was 120 (down from the 145-165 it normally is) and while it was still in the normal range they wanted me to sit on the monitors for a Non-stress test for 30 minutes following my appointment. Of course my trusty side kick was there too waiting oh so patiently for the two of us to get bagels after my appointment ;)

Everything came back normal and we ended the appointment with this unfamiliar phrase...

 "All we're waiting for now is for you to go into labor!"

It's been amazingly different this time around. I'm more active, I have a beautiful toddler to take care of and I'm even still taking my prenatal yoga classes. At the beginning of my third trimester I had a few rough weeks with some anxiety that came flooding back. I felt like such a failure in my third trimester with Owen - even though I succeeded in carrying him to term. Lots of things surrounding bed rest/birth/postpartum were hard on me and in retrospect could have been handled very differently.

This time, if I wanted to feel strong and confident, I needed to change my own mind.

I credit much of this to the doctor's managing me. They never once made me feel like I couldn't do this. Sure, I contracted A LOT but they let me stay on my feet and kept me calm. I think the p17 shots worked wonders for me in terms of cervical length. And we did it.

We are so incredibly excited to meet this little guy. We continue to pray that he is born strong and healthy. We hope that Owen adjusts well to having to share my attention and that we can all eventually get some sleep :)

35 Weeks Pregnant

I'm still taking Prenatal Yoga once per week.

I'm on my feet.

My last P-17 shot is this Friday.

My bathing suit doesn't fit and I had to wear a bikini to the pool with Owen.

On our way to a full-term boy. 

August might just be the month we become a family of four.

I'm huge and hot but very, very happy.

How far along? 35 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +15 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yep, all maternity shirts and I pretty much live in stretch skirts and dresses
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: Pillow Nest + Air on HIGH = six hours of sleep. I've also gone back to napping for a little bit while Owen naps. I still have work/writing deadlines but I find myself exhausted after our morning activities, 45 minutes of rest usually does me good. 
Best moment this week: Just realizing I'm on my feet, being a Mama and enjoying the summer with my boy before his brother arrives. There has been lots of pool time for Mama and Owen :)
Movement: TONS!
Food cravings: Meh. Still not much and nothing compared to the first time around.
Gender: Baby Brother
Labor Signs: Not much, holding steady.
Belly Button in or out? I wouldn't call it "IN" but not completely popped yet.
What I miss: Summer sangria, carrying Owen, and sleeping on my stomach.
What I am looking forward to: Jeremy has a few weekends off next month so we're going to a concert and we're going to start working on our to-do list in preparation for Baby Brother. (I wrote on Kveller this week about how we're not doing much this time around)
Weekly Wisdom: I've been getting SO MANY sympathetic looks over the past few weeks, especially when I'm out and about with Owen. I think because I'm huge and IT'S HOT but I like it when random strangers are nice to you because you are pregnant, it lifts me up a little :)
Milestones: 35 weeks and on my feet!

32.5 Weeks: Dreaming of Baby Brother

I had an appointment today with the nurse practitioner. My contractions have been increasing and I have them most evenings and sometimes during the day. The perinatologists we're seeing don't see enough evidence that giving medication or prescribing bed rest actually stop labor so I'm trying to remain calm and rest when I can. Since I'm contracting daily, she wanted to do an exam today. She said I am fingertip dilated and 30% effaced but there is still a little bit of cervix left. Not the best news, but I stayed fingertip dilated with Owen for quite some time so I'm hoping my body just likes to start early and I can hold this guy in AT LEAST three more weeks.

Everything else looked great. My blood pressure was nice and low and my belly was measuring exactly on track. I gained a half a pound in the last two weeks, up 10.5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, which she said was fine as long as I'm eating enough. Jeremy will continue to give me my weekly injections until 36 weeks and then we are in the clear.

I'm starting to look at birth options and hoping I can make to to 36 weeks, can visit the Mikvah and stay calm.  I'm continuing to take prenatal yoga and it is really helping me clear my mind of some of the anxiety and negative associations I had first time around.

At 32 weeks with Owen, I had been on bed rest for six weeks. That was probably my lowest point emotionally and I'm just thankful that I'm in a better place this time around.

We'd love some extra thoughts and prayers as we get closer to meeting Baby Brother.

 How far along? 30 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +10 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yep, all maternity shirts and I pretty much live in stretch skirts and dresses (note: September baby WAAAAY hotter than February baby)
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: It's hit or miss. I have our air unit in our room set at 70 and I'm still hot (while Jeremy is absolutely FREEZING) and as long as I have enough pillows surrounding me I can sleep.
Best moment this week: My first prenatal yoga class - I'm on my feet at 30 weeks! I won 12 sessions at a great yoga studio down the street from us at my La Leche League conference so I called our sitter to watch Owen while I took the 90 minute class. It was really, really great.
Movement: TONS!
Food cravings:I'm not having as many cravings this time around, not sure if it's the P17 injections or what. I have been enjoying cherry dipped cones from Dairy Queen, frozen strawberry lemonade from McDonalds and lots of Qdoba chips and salsa.
Gender: Baby Brother
Labor Signs: Other than the triage visit, just one other morning with lots of contractions. Doing lots better this time around.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: carrying Owen when he asks, he's just too heavy for me now and I know he is very disappointed.
What I am looking forward to: I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy rather than wishing the weeks away until I'm in the safe zone. This is easier said than done. Going to prenatal yoga was a huge step for me and it helped me build confidence that I can do this. I've also been trying to savor my alone time with Owen. I adore him so and part of me is sad I'll have to share my attention in a few months.

Weekly Wisdom: Prenatal yoga is a WONDERFUL stress reliever in the third trimester. I'm not much of a yoga person, but I've found it physically challenging and emotionally filling.

Milestones: 30 weeks and on my feet!

28 Weeks: A Visit to Triage

Monday I had a particularly busy day scrubbing toilets and chasing Owen. Around 8:30 p.m. I began having four to five contractions per hour. I knew I had been pretty active so I laid down and was trying to stay calm and drink water because Jeremy was on call. By 11 p.m. I was having seven to nine contractions per hour and decided it was time to call the doctor. Since this is the window where I had cervical changes with Owen, they asked that I come in.

I was going to drive myself, which the doctor did NOT approve of, so we woke up Owen and took him. Plus Jeremy was on call and answering pages the entire time.

After signing a bazillion papers (one of which was consent to have my newborn’s picture taken. AT 28 WEEKS?! NO! And how is this essential paperwork?), I was headed back to observation. Jeremy and Owen were asked to remain in the waiting area, which was completely FILTHY. We rushed out of the house and didn't even think to bring socks for Owen. Jeremy let him watch Curious George on the ipod, and while they were both exhausted, Owen was a very good boy despite being woken up in the middle of the night. Here are my boys in the waiting room...

By the time they took me back and had me hooked up it was like 1:30am and the contractions stopped. Then a doctor came in and said she was going to examine me. All along they had been telling me who was on call for MFM, so I assumed this was a fellow. I was hesitant about the exam because I HAVE NEVER BEEN EXAMINED this pregnancy. Just as she was about to do it, I saw her fleece said, OB/GYN. I asked her if she was the MFM fellow, and she said, "No, I'm a resident but you'll be meeting Dr. "blah blah" from MFM shortly I don't think you've seen her yet" And proceeds to do the exam TWICE because she isn't sure what she felt!! Turns out she was a 2nd year resident, I could have had JEREMY check me if I wanted a second year resident's opinion! Then she says, "well the external OS is open but I felt the internal OS and it seems to be closed and I don't feel any baby parts pushing down." What in the HELL does that mean? And who says "baby parts" to an expectant high-risk Mama?? Next thing I know the nurse comes back telling me I'm free to go. At 3 a.m. I met my tired family back in the waiting area and we headed home.

Jeremy was BEYOND pissed that they wouldn't let him back (they said the rule was no toddlers, but the lady in the room next to me had her family with her). He had no clue what the resident was talking about either, and he was mad that they didn't just ultrasound me. Jeremy was like, "so she just pushed her way through the open part to keep feeling??? On a high risk patient??"

I was frustrated and just wished I would have stayed home until they stopped. But how would I know? I also have no Procadia at home or anything else to stop contractions. 

Jeremy came with me to the doctor the following day and we explained that we were less than thrilled about our time in triage. My appointment was with the chairman, he apologized said he'll talk to the resident and then said, despite her poor communication, everything still looks good.

So, I haven't had any contractions since so I'm hoping it was a fluke. I don't want any more digital exams than I have to so I'll go back to the doctor in two weeks. I'm still getting my P-17 injections every week and I've been trying to lay down during Owen's nap to rest a little myself.

Just need to keep this boy INSIDE!

26.5 Weeks Pregnant: Memories of a scary time

Today was another OB appointment, and I have had a rough week. This is the exact time we found out that I was in preterm labor with Owen so every little ache, pain and contraction this week has been sending me into anxiety and tears. Jeremy was on call every other night this week, getting slammed, so we didn't really see him at all and it left lots of extra slack for me to pick up.

Owen and I waited almost 1.5 hours to see the doctor this time, and thankfully Owen was so well behaved. He ate snacks and watched Curious George on the ipod. When the nurse came in to see me she told me that I failed my 1 hr glucose tolerance test. The cut off was 135 and mine was 137. Since I have reactive hypoglycemia, I'm already at risk for gestational diabetes on top of ALREADY having a high risk pregnancy. She told me that I need to do the 3 hr test, which requires you drink the glocola and then wait in the lab for THREE HOURS to have your blood drawn. Owen came with me for the first one and waited the hour, but three hours with a toddler is NOT happening. I told her Jeremy doesn't have a day off for a few weeks and they said that until I have the test I have to check my sugars with a meter 4 times a day. On top of that, I tested postive for Group B strep, and while it is just an overgrowth of natural flora it's dangerous for the baby and I'll need to have IV antibiotics during labor and delivery.

All of this news was a lot for me as I was already pretty upset anyway. When the doctor came in, I burst into tears and told him how worried I am about bedrest/preterm/ doing too much. He came right back into the room with an ultrasound machine and measured a perfectly normal cervix (with of course, more tears from me...)

He told me I am doing a great job and that my body is holding onto this baby. He said that if my body wants to contract in the evening to just drink water and lay on the couch. Contractions can be normal and as long as they stop, or don't get increasingly painful, I'm okay. I'm still getting my shots so that is another thing working in our favor. He assured me that I'm not going to "make" myself go into labor by carrying Owen, doing laundry or just being a Mama. It made me feel a lot better.

So while some of the news was less than ideal,  what Jeremy reminded me of later is that what I pray for the MOST is a healthy, full-term baby and right now a long cervix was exactly what we needed to see. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers... I'll breath such a huge sigh of relief in ten weeks.

25 Weeks Pregnant

We had another cervical ultrasound on Friday and it looks like things are still measuring 3.8-3.9 which is great. That was my last routine ultrasound and from here on out they will monitor me every two weeks with digital exams/ultrasounds, based on symptoms. The doctor told me that while bed rest is absolutely not on the table right now, I need to watch my activity and listen to my body. Any more than 4 contractions in an hour and I am to call, period. Medication is still an option should I need it and I'll stay on the progesterone shots until 36 weeks (11 more shots and counting...)

As we get closer to the 26-27 week mark where things got scary last time around I find myself questioning every pain and every step I take. Should I have walked up those stairs with the laundry? Should I have struggled with Owen in the grocery? I'm terrified but trying to push aside those fears to be hopeful.

Bringing another little boy into the world safe and healthy will hopefully be another of my most sacred accomplishments as a mother, but it won't come without worry while we wait. Please hold us in your thoughts and prayers.

23 weeks: AT THE BEACH!

We're half-way there, baby!

19 weeks