37.5 weeks pregnant (Note: Still PREGNANT!)

Went to the doctor today and she said I am not dilated but completely thinned and she could feel his head pushing down. Baby Brother had been a little less active the last few days and when they listened to his heartbeat on the doppler it was 120 (down from the 145-165 it normally is) and while it was still in the normal range they wanted me to sit on the monitors for a Non-stress test for 30 minutes following my appointment. Of course my trusty side kick was there too waiting oh so patiently for the two of us to get bagels after my appointment ;)

Everything came back normal and we ended the appointment with this unfamiliar phrase...

 "All we're waiting for now is for you to go into labor!"

It's been amazingly different this time around. I'm more active, I have a beautiful toddler to take care of and I'm even still taking my prenatal yoga classes. At the beginning of my third trimester I had a few rough weeks with some anxiety that came flooding back. I felt like such a failure in my third trimester with Owen - even though I succeeded in carrying him to term. Lots of things surrounding bed rest/birth/postpartum were hard on me and in retrospect could have been handled very differently.

This time, if I wanted to feel strong and confident, I needed to change my own mind.

I credit much of this to the doctor's managing me. They never once made me feel like I couldn't do this. Sure, I contracted A LOT but they let me stay on my feet and kept me calm. I think the p17 shots worked wonders for me in terms of cervical length. And we did it.

We are so incredibly excited to meet this little guy. We continue to pray that he is born strong and healthy. We hope that Owen adjusts well to having to share my attention and that we can all eventually get some sleep :)

25 Weeks Pregnant

We had another cervical ultrasound on Friday and it looks like things are still measuring 3.8-3.9 which is great. That was my last routine ultrasound and from here on out they will monitor me every two weeks with digital exams/ultrasounds, based on symptoms. The doctor told me that while bed rest is absolutely not on the table right now, I need to watch my activity and listen to my body. Any more than 4 contractions in an hour and I am to call, period. Medication is still an option should I need it and I'll stay on the progesterone shots until 36 weeks (11 more shots and counting...)

As we get closer to the 26-27 week mark where things got scary last time around I find myself questioning every pain and every step I take. Should I have walked up those stairs with the laundry? Should I have struggled with Owen in the grocery? I'm terrified but trying to push aside those fears to be hopeful.

Bringing another little boy into the world safe and healthy will hopefully be another of my most sacred accomplishments as a mother, but it won't come without worry while we wait. Please hold us in your thoughts and prayers.

Happily Waiting For You

Hear our prayer

God of all generations, You have blessed our life with companionship and mutual love. For all Your past gifts we are thankful, now are hearts are full, in this time of expectant hope.

We await the birth of a new life and You are with us. As a parent holds the hand of a child, so now make our spirits serene. Let us wait in confidence and calm, with hearts unafraid. Let our child be born to health and happiness. Help us to be worthy parents, and bless us with a long life nourished and sustained by the sweetness of family love. Amen.

Shabbat Shalom my sweet boy, we cannot wait to meet you.

Via Prayers and Ceremonies for the Jewish Home

I almost asaulted a woman over a frosty

How far along? 36 weeks 4 days
How big is baby? 6+ lbs
Total weight gain/loss: +20 lbs (but after consecutive weeks of gaining, I lost a 1/2 lb this week)
Maternity clothes? I was so happy to fit into my maternity clothes last night to go out to dinner. I didn't wear a single bit of casual spandex!
Stretch marks? Nope, holding out hope for a stretchie-free pregnancy.
Sleep: This isn't going well, I'm increasingly uncomfortable and not even my bed nest (comprised of a pregnancy wedge and 4 pillows) is helping. I wake up at 4am like clockwork to pee, and lay awake until around 6 or 630 staring at my sleeping husband. So if you're up at 4 - give me a buzz and we'll chat!
Best moment this week: 36 weeks, a massage and bed rest free Valentine's Day with my hubs!
Movement: My ribs and sternum are pretty sore, he pushes and stretches every available inch of space in my abdomen.
Food cravings: I'm pretty hungry and although my eyes are bigger than the skittle-sized pocket that is inevitable my baby crushed stomach - I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING I SEE.
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: Almost 9 weeks of bed rest and we're holding strong. He's okay to come anytime now, can you believe it??
Belly Button in or out? Mostly flat but it's tempted.
What I miss: breathing and sleeping are probably at the top of my list these days ;)
What I am looking forward to: I'm hoping to squeeze in a haircut and pedicure before this little guy arrives. Gaining some of my strength back in my legs. Also spending some "us" time with my husband before the baby comes.
Weekly Wisdom We went to childbirth class again this week but the only things I learned were that forceps look like GIANT salad tongs and I hope they aren't used to yank out my babe, you can't wipe your hoo-ha for about a week after delivery and you have to squirt it with a water bottle and carefully PAT DRY, AND during transition you will yell awful, terrible things at your husband and he has to forgive you because you are squeezing his spawn out of your body with all of your might.
Milestones: 36 weeks, getting some privileges from bed rest.

So the end of pregnancy has brought about some highly irrational thinking. Like last week when Jeremy left me reclining in the car while he ran into IKEA, a lady pulled up next to our parked car in her mini van and was eating a frosty. When I saw it I WANTED A FROSTY. Not only did I want, make that NEED, a frosty - I wanted HER frosty. I was sitting there thinking (irrationally) of ways that I could get it from her, like tapping on her car window and saying I was pregnant and I needed it more than she did. Or saying my blood sugar was low (which probably would have worked). Of course I didn't act on my crazy-pants urge and was somehow able to wait until Jeremy came out and could drive me the .1 miles to the Wendy's drive through - but seriously? That lady could have been a germ infested spit eater and I LEGITIMATELY WANTED TO SCARF DOWN HER HALF EATEN FROSTY.

Then my mom and I were watching reruns of Two and a half Men the other day and they were eating lasagna for dinner AND NOW I WANT LASAGNA FOR DINNER. I DON'T EVEN LIKE LASAGNA!!!!!

I hope I can continue to find what little shred of sense I have left to prevent me from killing someone or eating a mouse if one happens to look delicious. But please don't show me food you're not willing to hand over, immediately. Regardless of whether or not we actually know each other.

I'm NINE months pregnant!!

We're so excited to be at this point. SO. RIDICULOUSLY. EXCITED.

Today Dr. K said we are 100% the same; much to his amazement my cervix has held beautifully and is still only 50% effaced. My fundus is measuring 38 weeks and he said this little boy is PLENTY big enough to come out A-N-Y-T-I-M-E. I told him I was aiming for a 7lb baby - he said I just might get that... AND MORE!

I am staying on the medicine for one more week but Dr. K said to try to push my limits on being up and gaining strength back.

After a successful appointment I had a WONDERFUL full body massage. Not before having to call around to a BA-zillion places all of which refused to touch a nine month pregnant lady with a blunt spoon let alone palpate my body and risk throwing me into labor. Finally, a quaint little Aveda salon squeezed me in on the busy Valentine's Day weekend. I think I must have come across just a tad bit desperate and after I mentioned that I've been under house arrest for almost nine weeks - she finally caved. I have never in my life been more thankful for a massage. There were parts of my body I didn't know were sore, THAT ARE. One hour felt like fifteen minutes and for the first time in a long time I cleared my mind and focused on the beautiful moment when the three of us will become a family. Right now, that thought is my happy place, the idea gives me goosebumps that I know will be magnified by five hundred thousand when it actually happens. It was kind of hard to completely relax since my little one apparently didn't get the MAMMA IS TRYING TO CHILL memo and instead decided dark/tranquil/soft music/quiet time was the perfect opportunity to show off his ninja skills. The warm blanket draped over me was jumping all around, the lady must have though I was gestating an alien or something. Apparently, an alien who is doubly stimulated by hot towels and the aroma of mint lotion :)

This is a picture of me from this afternoon and I'm going to go out on a modesty limb and say that I'm glowing (don't comment if you disagree). I'm glowing because I've made it this far, I just had a massage, I'm looking forward to a romantic Valentine's day with my husband and because I just promised myself that if I am STILL pregnant in two weeks...

I'm getting another massage.

Our most precious gift

Once upon a time...

there was a boy who loved a girl and her laughter was a question
he wanted to spend his whole life answering.
-Nichole Krauss

30 weeks: A New Year, A New Life

How far along? 30 weeks
How big is baby? 3 lb 5 oz (yay!)
Total weight gain/loss: +8 lbs
Maternity clothes? Now that my days are spent on the couch, I wear fleece pants and Gap stretch maternity shirts. The sofa doesn't judge me.
Stretch marks? No, actually since being on bed rest my belly has gotten less tight as he (and my organs) have settled back into my abdomen more.
Sleep: Doing pretty well despite having to set alarms throughout the night to take my medication. The Boppy Pregnancy Wedge has really helped!
Best moment this week: Getting a glimpse of my little boy on the ultrasound made the scary hospital trips worth while.
Movement: Strong little kicks in my ribs and hip bones!
Food cravings: My appetite has been low because of the meds and being sick, but the other day I really wanted Marzetti veggie dip and rainbow sherbet. Together? I'm not sure, but Jeremy rushed out and bought both without questioning me.
Gender: Boy! and his squishy little scrotum was one of the first things we saw on the ultrasound - modesty really isn't in our genetic make up :)
Labor Signs: Contractions and cervical changes, but we're holding out hope for a full term baby.
Belly Button in or out? In, but flat now.
What I miss: Sexy time with my husband and leaving the house to run errands (at Target).
What I am looking forward to: Every single day that this wee one stays put as my inside baby. I'm just not ready to share him yet.
Weekly Wisdom: Take everything one day at a time now because a full term baby is completely within your reach.
Milestones:30 weeks and praying for seven more.

These past two and a half weeks have been an emotional roller coaster and I could not have done it without such an awesome partner by my side. Jeremy is working so hard to take care of me and baby. Every single time he helps me off the couch or refills my Gatorade I am reminded of how much he loves me (messy bed hair and all) and of the thousands of reasons he is going to be an *amazing* Daddy.

Happy New Year Babe, 2010 might just be the most incredible year of our lives.

Viability Week!! (stay in there baby, stay in)

How far along? 24 weeks 4 days
How big is baby? Just over 1 lb and a foot long (the length of an ear of corn).
Total weight gain/loss: +5 lbs
Maternity clothes? My belly is busting out of my non-pregnancy shirts in an offensive way - guess those are retired for the season.
Stretch marks? Nope, still giving myself a daily lotion bath. Also, I found lotion that you can put on IN THE SHOWER!
Sleep: Making some progress here, much to my husbands disappointment because I now take up 90% of our king bed with me, my baby belly and my nest of pillows. We also had to trade sides of the bed so I could be closer to the bathroom. As a result- he's been waking up with no idea where he is! The other night he was roaming around the room looking for some shorts to put on because he thought someone was going to walk in on him. Yes, my husband sleep talks and it entertains me greatly.
Best moment this week: Slept in with my husband this weekend for the first time in over three months.
Movement: I think I'm brewing up a wriggly octopus in there!
Food cravings: I'm onto my peppermint kick for the winter - had my first peppermint hot chocolate of the season while people watching in Boston.
Gender: Boy, who apparently can hear sounds now so my husband is teaching him how to fart and burp with spirit.
Labor Signs: Still praying for a full term baby.
Belly Button in or out? In (barely!), and yesterday while inspecting it, my husband found a booger in there. No one has claimed it yet.
What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach and not having to use the airplane lavatory. ALSO, squatting to pee - NOT POSSIBLE ANYMORE. Oh the germ phobia that overwhelms me when I cannot find a thin paper seat cover!!
What I am looking forward to: Hosting Thanksgiving dinner for BOTH families!
Weekly Wisdom: Remember when I told you how bad I am about reading baby books - I found a solution! Happiest Baby on the Block makes a DVD (only 38 minutes!) that hubs and I watched yesterday. It was probably filmed in 1980, but the 5 "S" techniques/demonstrations had us both in awe.
Milestones: My GINORMOUS boobs are now officially resting on my rounded abdomen. SHELF BELLY. AWESOME.

I always decide to take my belly pictures at night when the light is terrible. This picture is brought to you by "maybe if I edit it in black and white it won't look like total crap" (except for the belly shadows, but work with me people.)

Melts in your mouth, not in your belly button

Not long ago I put my shame aside and admitted to eating inhaling a questionable piece of chocolate from my desk drawer.

Today it is with great pride that I admit to finding some M&M's left over from our wedding and using them as a prop in a valiant attempt to show you something I know you've been JUST DYING to see...

(you'll notice Fred in the upper left corner of the image)

Please ignore the smiley face scar below my button - I was ravaged by a pack of wild billy goats and luckily, all they got away with was my lousy gallbladder. All I gotta say is, thank heavens for laparoscopically inclined livestock. The more pregnant I get, the more my belly smiles :)

This is a picture of me demanding (hands on hips) that my husband take a picture of this trick while I can still do it.


AND, for the record... I had to eat that M&M, it had my name written ALL OVER IT!

Fred Freckle Watch 2009!

How far along? 22 weeks 3 days
How big is baby? about 1 lb and 10.9 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash)
Total weight gain/loss: +3 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes! I need to buy a few more shirts - somehow the Gap read my mind and sent me a 25% off coupon. You sneaky marketing geniuses, are you reading this blog? (if so, send me FREE stuff, not coupons. My husband doesn't have a JOB, remember?)
Stretch marks? Not yet, slathering on the lotion with wild abandon though. Pass the spatula and stand back!
Sleep: Better! I actually slept through the night TWICE this week. WOO HOO! GO ME!
Best moment this week: Going out to dinner (Thai food!) and to a movie with my exhausted husband in the 24 hours we had together.
Movement: My ribs are officially punching bags now.
Food cravings: The usual suspects of course, in addition to banana peppers and anything pumpkin.
Gender: I already told you I have a penis.
Labor Signs: No, praying for a full term baby.
Belly Button in or out? In, but Jeremy keeps trying to coax it out of the exceedingly less-shallow hiding spot.
What I miss: Sangria and walking fast.
What I am looking forward to: You know you're an adult when you're looking forward to new carpet. I'm also pretty jazzed about an impending trip to IKEA - going to strategically plan this around lunch time so I can chow down on some Swedish meatballs in the cafeteria.
Weekly Wisdom: I've been SLOW-LY reading Happiest Baby on the Block. I say SLOW-LY because, unlike Redbook magazine, I have no concept of what is going on in this book. The message I took away from the first couple chapters is this: Hope and pray your baby doesn't get colic. If baby DOES get colic, re-read these chapters and actually pay attention.
Milestones: I went to temple last night and the Torah portion was on the birth of Isaac. Abraham has the son who will be his heir. From Abraham’s point of view, Isaac is a gift from God. God kept his promises and is a just God. Our Rabbi noted it was a particularly wonderful night with four pregnant ladies in the room... he then added, "...even though it took over 5 months for Tamara to actually look pregnant." Ah, Mazel Tov indeed :)

This morning out of boredom, magazines plastered with fall-themed desserts and my cravings for anything pumpkin - I present to you -

My attempt to hold on to fall for as long as possible, in three ingredients or less

(1 box spice cake mix, 1 cup dark chocolate chips, 1 (15 oz) can pumpkin puree)
Complete with holiday muffin cups and EEWY GOOEY CHOCOLATE CHIPS!
added bonus: they BOUNCE!

I used up all my patience today and I'm not getting a new shipment until next week

(Note the giant freckle on my abdomen. This thing use to be the size of a pin head and I'll bet 'ya FIVE BUCKS it's the size of brussel sprout by the time this kid comes out!
I hereby name him Fred. Fred the Freckle.)

How far along? 21 weeks
How big is baby? 14 ounces!
Total weight gain/loss: 0 lbs (but my doctor's scale said 2 lbs this week - so we'll go with that for all you peeps who are worried about my weight.)
Maternity clothes? Pants, YES. My shirts are getting shorter though.
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: Lots of nightmares and restlessness.
Best moment this week: Seeing our healthy baby! He's measuring two days ahead and is perfect in every way.
Movement: This is one active little guy.
Food cravings: Getting my appetite back is nice, I've been craving smores so we'll have those this weekend when we carve pumpkins and light our fire pit. Also, Jeremy promised we can get Thai food!
Gender: It's a BOY!!
Labor Signs: No, praying for a full term baby.
Belly Button in or out? In, but I can barely get an M&M to stay in there these days.
What I miss: the energy I used to have and being able to hold in my farts!
What I am looking forward to: Being at home this weekend with my husband, trick-or-treat, and wearing my new winter coat (Thanks Mom!)
Weekly Wisdom: Boys are WAY easier than girls - (pretty much everyone says this)
Milestones: I have a penis growing inside of me and I couldn't be more proud.

Today we stood on line for over 3 hours to get my H1N1 vaccine. Most of the wait was outside, which was better than being closed up in a stuffy auditorium, but once we got in the building it was a total mess. Only ONE table was vaccinating the pregos and of course it HAD THE LONGEST LINE. With 20 minutes left in our wait some paramedics started asking the pregnant ladies if we would like a chair to sit down in... THEY ARE LUCKY THEY DIDN'T LOSE AN EYEBALL.

Hint: When approaching pregnant women who have been STANDING in line ALL AFTERNOON, do not offer them a chair. Instead, shower them with chocolates and massages while telling them they're skinny and reminding them they're next. Otherwise, GO AWAY.

Also, Jeremy was thoroughly amused by the pandemonium that is public vaccination of children. Watching other children scream like holy hell while your mom tries to roll up your sleeve and convince you it doesn't hurt - GIANT FAIL.

Blowdrying my hair makes me dizzy sometimes

Wow, you really look pregnant. Hot and pregnant! - Jeremy

How far along? 19weeks 3days
How big is baby? About 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom
Total weight gain/loss: 0 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yay Thanksgiving pants! Yes, jeans and work pants. Shirts are still okay, except for the tank I wore to the gym on Tuesday -- that didn't quite make it over the belly.
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: Still not getting much.
Best moment this week: Lots of movement!
Movement: Yep, everyday now :)
Food cravings: Still eating candy, my appetite seems to be coming back. I was able to make a list of things I wanted the other day:
Lemonade
Grilled Cheese
Thai Food
Red Velvet Cupcake (cuppies!) with cream cheese icing
I'm also craving all kinds of fall foods - but I think this would happen even if I weren't pregs! I cannot wait for Thanksgiving.
Gender: It's still probably a boy or a girl
Labor Signs: No, praying for a full term baby.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Hard cider, pumpkin ale and normal-sized boobs.
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the gender a week from tomorrow!
Weekly Wisdom: Be your own kind of mother, just do what feels natural for you. - some Jewish mothers at a dinner on Friday
Milestones: Movement PALOOZA!

I cannot wait until Starbucks releases the peppermint hot cocoa and Chick-Fil-A has the peppermint milkshakes again. Ah, winter drinks. I'm convinced my baby will love you too!

Here is my belly pic!


and one of Miss Har staring at my belly...


And then just one of Harleigh, because she just got her hair cut and she's so damn cute!

The secret

IS FINALLY OUT!!

We told our parents this weekend and they were all absolutely thrilled!! Welcome friends and family! Welcome to our journey to becoming a family of three. We will do our best with calls and updates but please check back often because I'll try to post progress updates here on the blog as much as I can.

We'll find out the sex of our little one on October 26th!

For now here is a belly picture. I'm 17w3d

SECOND TRIMESTER! Woot! Woot!

I figured it was time for a cheesy pregnancy survey!
How far along? 13w4d
Total weight gain/loss: -5lbs
Maternity clothes? Nope, but I do unbutton my jeans a lot!
Stretch marks? No thank you.
Sleep: Depends. If I take a nap during the day, then I can't sleep at night. Since getting pregnant, I've actually had a lot of restlessness and VERY weird dreams. Last week I dreamt about thin purple snakes with see-through skin crawling all over me.
Best moment this week: Seeing the baby.
Movement: We got a while for that.
Food cravings: Anything tomato based and SOUR CANDIES!!
Gender: no guesses.
Labor Signs: No thank you.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Wanting to eat food, ice cream and not having a headache all the time.
What I am looking forward to: telling our parents in October.
Weekly Wisdom: We haven't told anyone we're pregnant - so no one gives me advice yet :) But I did read a pretty cool quote by Nicole Richie "It's something completely new, so you just have to go with whatever works for you. There's a million different ways to be a mom."
Milestones: 2nd TRIMESTER!!

Here is a belly picture. I only have a tiny bulge, which is probably more gut than baby (I swear it feels like a small piece of fruit underneath), but I wanted to post one before I pop out. This way I can remember I wasn't always a house :)