Tragedy at the Pittsburgh Zoo

On Sunday a two year old boy was killed at our zoo. To say this hit me hard was an understatement. I take my boys to the zoo all the time. Owen runs free. He could have climbed up on that exhibit. We lift him up to see better all the time.

A Mama lifted her son up to see his favorite exhibit and he fell in and died a horrible, tragic death.

I wrote a piece about my feelings over here at Kveller.com

Less than an hour after it had been posted two editors from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, the largest newspaper here, called asking to use it.

It ran in the paper and on their website where it recieved over 2,200 shares and had almost 100 comments.

People said some horrible things about this mother. Pointed fingers and placed blame. Because if you blame her for being a bad mother, maybe that means something as horrific as this could never happen to our own children. But the fact of the matter is that it could have been anyone.

I recieved an email from someone close to the family thanking me for my article. Saying after all of the horrible things that had been said and written they were so happy to have something nice put out there.

My heart breaks for that mother. It will break for her for a long, long time. I cannot bring myself to go to the zoo. That will take time too.

I can't even imagine.

Gillen 2 Month Doctor Visit and Challah Shabbat

 13 lbs (58th percentile)

 22.8 inches (26th percentile)

As soon as we walked into the exam room Owen said, "I pick that I will go first and baby Gillen will go second." Little did he know, this appointment was only for Gillen and no matter how many times I told him, he insisted on getting all of the attention (thankfully, Gillen doesn't know or care yet).

I let a med student come in first and she clearly didn't have children because I think she was horrified at Owen's behavior. He was throwing a fit and screaming and telling her his leg was injured and he needed a doctor to fix it (ahem. smart kid.) (also? WHERE DID HE LEARN THESE SHENANIGANS!?) For the record there was NOTHING wrong with his leg.

When our pediatrician came in he demanded her attention. She obviously knows a thing or two about two year olds who are having a hard time adjusting to a new brother so she looked in Owen's ears, made him a puppet with a tongue depressor and let him tell her all about baby Gil.

So, in short, the appointment was once again about Owen. Gillen is perfect. He had his first shots and I was a brave Mama and held him through all three of them (Daddy was stuck at work). He's sleeping, eating and growing. Looks like he might be short and stalky - my gene pool working some magic on this boy.

Of Note: Before the appointment I had a discussion with Owen that Gil had to get some "owies" I didn't want him to get upset seeing the needles or hearing Gil scream. So when Owen started getting hysterical when the guy came in with the shots I thought he was upset for his brother.

Nope.

He stood on a stool right next to us and sobbed "But I WANT AN OWIE TOOOOOOOO!"

And there you have it folks, the extent to which a toddler will go to pull attention away from his baby brother. He wants a shot.

He didn't get one. But he did get to choose a sucker. You know, for being such a good patient ;)

After we got home poor Gil did LOTS of sleeping which allowed time for Owen and I to prep a Challah. My first time making challah - or any rising bread for that matter - and while I did forget to separate the dough into two loaves and made ONE GIANT CHALLAH - it was really good.

I also made chicken and dumplings for the first time. Owen was sitting in his booster seat coloring while I cut the dumplings and he says, "Mama, watching you make dumplings is BORING."

I about died.

Shabbat Shalom!

Monkey play

Owen is really starting to come out of his shell. He jumps, he climbs, he loves to run and play. Of course the good is accompanied by a little, well, less than good but we'll take it all to see our boy so happy by something as simple as a new Curious George sweatshirt before heading to his favorite park.

Big Boy Haircut: The Barber

Up until now I've been taking Owen to get his haircut when I get mine cut. My stylist did a pretty good job cutting his hair but as it's grown in it lays funny. We felt like he needed to go to a barber shop to get a proper boys cut so off we went on a Saturday morning.

The lady gave Owen the worlds largest sucker as he was getting his haircut, much to our horror. Owen has never had anything other than a dum-dum pop so this was quite the upgrade and he happily ate it (covered in hair as it fell onto the sticky sucker....) Red was everywhere and as soon as we walked out the door we offered a trade. He give up the sucker and we give him a bag of fruit snacks.

He was thrilled. Thank goodness.

Gil was there too, dressed and ready for the Buckeye game ;)

Make Your Own Pizza Night!

This week we traded in our Thursday 'TACO PARTY!' for Make Your Own Pizza Night! Owen is a huge fan of making the pizzas and eating the toppings. He LOVES bannana peppers ("spicys"), green peppers and turkey pepperoni. The only thing he's not a huge fan of is... well...pizza.

 But Daddy and I took care of eating that ;)

Phipps Botanical Gardens

We're thinking of getting a membership to Phipps Botanical Gardens. They have added a lot of kid-friendly activities, such as a train exhibit and a kids shopping market -- and it's such a beautiful, serene place to walk around. A friend of ours had some passes so I decided to take the boys to check it out.

Apparently 2.5 is not a great age to visit a flower museum. Owen was like a bull in a china shop. Unfortunately he picked flowers, ripped them to shreds and threw them in the walkway much to the horror of the 55 and older crowd. He also tried to climb into a pond, threw rocks and ran away from me. To top it off he crapped his pants and threw a giant tantrum when I tried to change him. --- I'm going to hold on to that membership application until he's done being 2.5

But here are a few pictures from the first fifteen minutes of our trip while he was still behaving himself. Don't let the cuteness fool you... this boy is in the midst of terrible twos at their WORST.

 Trains!

 

Dressing Room Fun

I needed some clothes for fall so my boys accompanied (humored) me to the outlets for a shopping trip. When I look at these pictures all I can think is, "Like father, like son."

Owen was there too and insisted in carrying his boots for the 30 minute car ride ;)

You are my sunshine

This morning of cuddles in bed is just one example of why I have the best job in the entire world

Pumpkin Patch!

Our First Year to the Pumpkin Patch

(and here)

Our Second Year to the Pumpkin Patch

Being Big Brother takes some adjusting

 One of his big brother prizes to play with while I'm nursing. 

When I gave it to him he said, "Oh yeah! A Tinky!"

Owen has struggled over the last five weeks with our new family dynamic. The first week home he struggled with eating and night waking. The last few weeks bedtime shannagins (till after midnight!?) and tantrums have won out. While he has been very sweet to Gillen, he's taken out most of his frustration on Jeremy. This is sad for both of them because with Jeremy's work schedule they don't get much time together. Owen won't let Jeremy do anything for him right now without tantrums, screaming and calling for Mama. This is hard on all of us because I could really use the help, especially in the evening time when Gillen wants to nurse and be held. Owen knows that when I'm nursing I'm not as quick on my feet and often sees that as an opportunity to be naughty (open a jar of paint all over the playroom or scale the dishwasher). We try to point out all of the cool things that big boys can do that babies cannot and he seems to like that. He likes to be a helper and put Gil's dirty clothes in the hamper or bring me a diaper so I try to include him as much as possible.

Staying in the house all day is pure punishment for both of us, so we try to venture out at least on a walk or to the park. Gillen is really flexible so I've been carrying him in the Ergo and he's perfectly content to sleep there snuggled up on my chest as Big Brother gets some energy out.

We're trying to be patient with our firstborn and hope that soon we will see glimpses of the happy boy we know and love soon. Overall he's doing a great job as a big brother and we hope his little mind will start to settle and he'll again be assured of his place in our family.

More on life with two here on Kveller.com

A boy and a shark.

Rainy Sunday afternoon brought us to the aquarium.

Doctor Visit: Owen 31 months & Gillen 1 month

We took both boys to the doctor for well visits. Thankfully, Jeremy was able to meet us there and help out with juggling two kiddos. Since Owen was the Big Brother he got to pick who went first. He has been pretty jazzed about playing doctor (and apparently doesn't remember going there for shots) so he picked to go first.

OWEN

Weight: 27 lbs - 17th percentile

Length: 36.75 inches - 58th percentile

Since weaning six months ago Owen has really taken to whole milk (he drinks either milk or water). Dr. Springer was happy with the weight he has gained and said he is back on the curve for the growth charts. She suggested continuing whole milk (even though it is recommended to switch to 2% at age 2) until he is 3 and try to find calorie dense foods for him to eat, which we already do. She suggested two oatmeal raisin cookies with peanut butter as a snack. Anything to up his calories. He is a good eater and eats a variety of things, so overall we're very happy with his eating/weight. He loved having his blood pressure taken, just like in his doctor kit! He showed off lots of his physical development (jumping, running) and of course, his stellar verbal skills. We talked lots about his adjustment to the new family dynamic, which she said is all normal behavior and should peak around 6 weeks and then get better.

Owen was finally old enough for the flu mist vaccine, so instead of the "ouchy" we had prepared him for, instead he had to "sniff the flowers" for the nasal mist. Our boy did a great job! Big boys get a sucker as a reward at the doctor, so he was pretty thrilled with this visit overall! 

GILLEN

Weight: 11 lbs - 77th percentile

Length: 21.75 inches - 58th percentile
Head: 38.5

Gillen gained 3 pounds in FOUR weeks! To say this boy likes to eat is an understatement. He has chubs galore, much to his Mama's delight. His neck is strong and he sleeps for one 4-hour stretch for us each night and then 2hr blocks after that. He has a little bit of baby acne on his cheeks as a result of my pregnancy hormones but that is totally normal and should go away in a few weeks. Vaccines don't start until his next visit - so we all left tear-free this time.

Milestones: we put away all of his newborn clothes and moved to size 1 diapers.

Dr. Springer said that both of our boys are absolutely perfect and as we drove away Jeremy and I talked about how lucky and thankful we are for these beautiful, healthy children. We all enjoyed lunch at Panera before Daddy headed back to work and the rest of us headed home for naps ;)

31 Months: Owen, My Great Love

Dearest Owen,

The day I left for the hospital to have your brother you were still my baby. I cradled you in my arms and kissed your soft cheeks. The moment he was born, he was the baby and you were --bigger. You were so big, and tall and grown when I saw you next. I left to have a baby and you grew into a big brother overnight. Your suntanned legs, complete with scrapes. Your tasseled hair and rose-colored cheeks. Your ability to talk from sun-up to sunset. Little to no resemblance of baby left in you, it was only in the way that I saw you. As if you had never changed from the moment I met you and now somehow you've grown leaps and bounds in an instant. But in reality everything is the same, I'm just learning to see my two children. A baby and a boy. Brothers. My greatest accomplishments.

All of my tears since the birth of your brother have been for you. I know the insides and out of your gentle spirit. I know that you are struggling as a try to know him too. It all must seem so unfair. You've shown me in your own sensitive way just how much you miss being the center of my universe. How having my divided attention is not the same as having it all. It's hard on me too. I miss the days I lived to make you smile. And this face in the picture is one I see more often than not right now. You've always known your place in our family and it pains me to see you struggle to find where you fit again. I'm trying to be gentle and mindful of how the world must look to you now. How hard it must be for you. I guess we're both trying to be patient with each other. 

You have been so sweet to your brother. Every morning when I come into your room you ask, "What is baby Gil doing?" and later in the day you ask me when we're bringing him back to the hospital. I tell you he's here to stay. You ask again the next day, just to be sure. When he coos you tell me he is making "butterfly noises" and I cannot think of a more perfect way to describe it. You've been incredibly patient and you've found your special place tucked up next to me while I nurse him. Books have allowed me to tend to you while feeding him. You ask when he can play with you, I assure you that one day he will. Until then, you show him your favorite trucks and you kiss his head. You occasionally throw a cup at his bouncer or put a stuffed toy on his face while he's sleeping. We're working on it.

I already know how to love and care for a newborn, you taught me that. I'm still figuring out what a two and a half year old needs from me. You will always be my test subject for parenthood and I apologize for all my stumbles and imperfection. But one thing will never change, you will always be my first. You are my Great Love. At night when your brother is asleep, I come into your room. I cover you up and push the hair from your face. I want to climb into your crib and hold you close. I want you to know how much you matter. How hard I am trying to make this work. When you are sleeping, you're not pushing back. You are my baby again. I love you so much it hurts and giving you a brother, while it seems so unjust at the moment, is a gift I know you'll come to cherish. You will be his Great Love, too. He will want nothing more than to be like you, play with you, follow your every move and word. Time will wash away your memories of just the three of us, but I will always have them. I will keep them tucked inside my heart and I'll share them with you when ever you want. But I'll also let you forget. I'll let you forget so that you can learn to share my love and be a big brother. Because one day soon, playing with him will bring you more joy than playing with me. I've given you a partner in crime, a roommate and a buddy. You loving each other will be the ultimate reward, for all of us.

You made me a Mama, you changed every fiber of my being for the better. I'll love you harder, to make it easier and we'll find our new us soon. The four of us. A Mama, a Daddy, a boy and a baby. My beautiful family.

Owen, I love you more than all of the stars in the sky and I'll remind you if ever you forget it.

Mama