A game of Simon Says, except for I told you to click and my name's not Simon

Remember how I told you I disparately want for my baby to be smart but burping up fish guts at my desk was precluding me from giving my child the start he needs?

If you forgot, READ IT HERE.

I hear there is a great children's book called Baby Brains and Mrs. Brains "wanted to make sure their baby was going to be very smart," so they read aloud, played music and languages, and turned up the news for the child in Mrs. Brains's tummy. Sure enough, Baby Brains is discovered reading the newspaper on his very first morning at home. He attends school the following day, announcing his desire to study medicine. In just two weeks, he begins his medical practice and is discovered by the press. I NEED THIS BOOK.

Anyway, I also found a list of ways to GUARANTEE that my baby boy is a genius in this article called Harvard Bound: 52 Tips to Boost Your Baby’s Brain Development. Although I'm ignoring the part where it says that playing Britney Spears for your baby makes him smarter. Because if your baby truly is smart - he'll want to punch her in the face the second he pops out of the womb - just like the rest of us. I'm just saying...

And NOTE #24: Sing your baby songs & lullabies.

Jeremy (this one's for you pumpkin!) please direct your attention to the lullaby tutorial HERE. Complete with CORRECT words and sing along fun.

Someone I know intimately but shall remain nameless says that Harvard University campus has BY FAR the ugliest chicks on the planet (no offense). And since I'm going to train my babe to be smart and socially savvy enough bring home a hot girlfriend - we'll brainwash him with hopes of some other academic powerhouse. BUT, for now, I'm going to go ahead and follow the list on how to brew up a smart baby.

Because in a messy game of rock/paper/scissors, smart babies beat out ugly chicks every time!