Denver continued!

Denver Museum of Nature and Science
Gogi volunteers at the museum so he took Mr. O to check out all of the fun exhibits for toddlers - this boy had so much fun playing he was zonked out by the time we loaded him in the car.

we train doctors early in this family. This smiling lad specializes in livers :)

Dinosaur dig!

 CHEEEEEZE!

 We let Owen run across a screen that clocks his stride, this little man on the monitor was adorable

Denver Children's Museum

On another day we ventured out to the Children's Museum and there were SO MANY activities for Owen. He had so much fun playing in each room and then moving on to explore more fun! This is a MUST SEE for toddlers in Denver and we'll definitely be going back.

 bubbles with Mama in the GREAT bubble room

 dancing

 checking out the toddler play house with Gogi

 shopping, O was so sweet sharing with this little girl and trying to "feed" her fruit!

 checking out the toddler-sized "woo woo ta"

Gone fishing!

And finally, painting...

THIS is why I don't let Owen paint...

We had a wonderful trip visiting Grammie and Gogi and they were smitten with our boy. It's no surprise that a few days after we left I received an email from them confessing they were having "Owen withdraw" -- it really is a serious affliction and may take months to get over ;) This boy is pure joy! Thanks Gogi for a wonderful visit!!

Tiny Town!

No trip to Tiny Town is complete without a train ride and an ice cream cone :)

"Bye-Bye, Gogi!"

Our trip to Denver went by much, much too fast. Owen doesn't really pronounce "r's" so he took to taking his Grampie Dick, "Gogi" (rhymes with Yogi) and well, I think it suites him well!

We had such a wonderful time exploring all there is to do in Denver for toddlers. Owen was a joy every second we were there. I think he could sense the tension at home and was bored of seeing me day in and day out - this trip was just what we BOTH needed. He loved being showerd with attention from his "Gogi" and Grammie Susie. He got to meet his step-cousins, Kyle and Chloe for the first time and they were the highlight of his trip. Chloe fed, bathed and played with Owen in the sweetest way. He woke up from every nap, climbed the stairs asking for, "Ky-wol, and Chloe"

(he wanted to wear his bowl as a HAT!)

I also had a wonderful visit. I love Jeremy, but his schedule right now is hard on everyone. While I was away I didn't stress out about what time he got home, if he ate, or if he saw us -- because I wasn't there to know any of that. I even had some alone time. I took long showers, went to the grocery without entertaining a toddler, and I had an entire afternoon to myself while my little was in the loving care of his grandparents. I browsed stores in an outdoor mall and went to a movie. Normally, I'd feel like a TOTAL LOSER for doing this - but that day, I was thrilled. I was the only one in the theater and I enjoyed a small popcorn and Ryan Gosling's abs (drool!) After the movie I enjoyed a Jamba Juice and then headed home. 

As I strolled along enjoying the BEAUTIFUL Colorado weather, I realized that was the first time that I have ever been away from my boys that I didn't ache for them. I was actually thankful for the break, for the breathing room. I didn't go to the bathroom with a toddler on my lap once all week -- so it was definitely a successful trip!

Its a good thing we loved our trip so much because the 3hr plane ride there and back WERE HELL. I was that lady with the screaming, squirming toddler. Apparently, traveling with a 18 month old is NOT SO FUN.

I'm trying to get some pictures posted of our trip, amidst cooking for Rosh Hashanah and preparing for our family vacation. Glad to have recharged my Mama batteries!

Taking a much needed break

Owen's 1st plane trip at 3 months to San Francisco

 Owen's second plane trip at 5 months old - he was the copilot

Tomorrow Owen and I leave bright and early for Denver to spend the week with Grampie Dick and Grammie Susie. Not because of yesterday, but yesterday affirmed for me that I could use a few extra hands. Jeremy is on call all weekend and much of next week so it was the perfect time and I am very grateful they offered to fly us out there.

This will be Owen's fourth plane ride and his second trip across the country. I'm very nervous taking this walking,screamingtalking, eating, busy toddler on a 3.5 hour plane trip but hopefully - he'll adapt.

Thank you all SO MUCH for the encouraging emails and comments on yesterday's post. I have the best friends. It isn't all rainbows and sunshine over here, but I do try to keep this blog as a record of Owen's life, and I chose to celebrate on here. But I also felt that he'd look back and think, "Wow I was SUCH an easy baby, perfect really. And wow! My Mama was rock star. She really had her shit together."  No son, I do not. You are an experiment in motherhood, willpower and wine consomption and I can only hope you come out needing as little therapy as possible.

Anyway, today was a little better, still a lot of screaming but I somehow got some patience overnight and gave him more of my undivided attention so he was happier. Jeremy made it home in time to run out for a late family dinner at an awesome Indian food restaurant and I finally solidified our reservations for our family vacation in October.

And who says alcohol doesn't make things better?


(this picture has nothing to do with this post but O and I ventured up to the water floor at the Children's Museum for the first time last week and he TOTALLY LOVED IT! --- if you don't want to reach through your computer and SQUEEZE this adorable boy in a yellow slicker -- there is something seriously wrong with you.)

See you next week!

Today doesn't feel much like WINNING

I try really hard to stay positive.
I try to be a cheerleader for our family and have great pride in taking care of the three of us.
But today, today was greater than I could give.
Since July, Jeremy is rarely home. 
His meal is waiting for him, covered in plastic wrap when he gets home.
But all of the things leading up to that plastic wrapped meal - and the hour afterwards. Are a lot.
I revel in motherhood and adore my son, but being a single parent is hard stuff.
Harder than I imagined.
Today Owen woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
He screamed all day. The most high pitched, annoying scream.
The kind of attention-drawing scream that grates at your nerves and tests your patience.
He screamed in my face through breakfast and threw his food on the floor.
He kicked and screamed through our errands - in Costco, in Target.
Stink bugs are invading our house again - so I needed to go to Lowe's to get bait for our trap.
Owen screamed and kicked in while I tried to talk to the lady about why it was sold out.
And then I drove across town to Home Depot.
I tried to feed Owen chicken nuggets in the car, but he wasn't hungry.
So he spit chewed up chicken, all over the car.
He nursed to sleep and napped for three (GLORIOUS) hours.
I prepped dinner, folded 3 loads of laundry, ate lunch and cleaned the toilet.
Much to my dismay he woke up in the same mood.
He ate a snack, we took a walk.
He screamed and kicked when I had to take him out of the stroller in Rite Aid.
He took off his shoes and socks and threw them on the pavement.
We came home and he tried to play with and eat a stink bug.
I grabbed it from him and rushed him off to wash his stinky hands and mouth.
I put him down to go grab the bug and flush it.
He decided to take a box of Arm&Hammer pet fresh and dump it all over the pantry and kitchen.
I put him in the high chair and he screamed while I swept and washed the floors.
I fed him dinner and put food for Jeremy and I in the oven.
Owen screamed in between every blessed bite of his dinner.
I washed the dishes and as I loaded the dishwasher, my hand got caught in the rack.
I pulled it out, Owen was yelling, my hand was covered in blood.
I bent over the sink and cried.
The screaming wore me down and the fucking dishwasher sent me over the edge.
At that moment I wished to God that Jeremy would come through the door and save the day.
That he would pour me a glass of wine, scoop up our fussy boy and put him to bed while I plated our dinner.
But, much like the last few months, that didn't happen.
I poured myself a glass of wine and held a papertowl on my bloody fingers.
Through my tears, chugged half the bottle.
I ate a piece of dark chocolate while Owen stared at his sobbing Mama.
Today I wasn't enough.
I put Owen to bed and took a shower.
I ate my cold dinner and I'm sitting on the couch alone at 9:55pm.
Jeremy's days are no better than mine and at least I have the sunny ones when I play with a smiling boy.
But that wasn't today.
I can take comfort in knowing that I'm not the only resident wife who struggles
But my back hurts, my ears are ringing, and my cold dinner and scraped up hand are not a welcomed ending to this horrible day.
Because I have a big job too.
I decide what we feed him. I decide how we discipline him and what his days will hold.
I make sure things are clean, bills are paid and our son is loved.
In writing this I'll have a record of our sacrifice.
By the end we will have given ten years of our life to medical training.
If he walked through the door tonight and told me he wanted to go back to being a teacher...
I gladly swallow $250,000 in debt and pack our bags.
But there's no going back now.
So I recite my mantra over and over again on days like this,
Make your expectations low, hold your love and respect for him high, and keep your eye on the prize. 
For me the prize is not the money of being a doctor - its having my husband back.
Its having a partner again.
Five more years is worth a lifetime of him, of us.

Today got the best of me, thankfully, there is always tomorrow.

A boy after my own heart

I found a really great toddler plate at TjMaxx the other day for $2 (although it claims to be "flip proof" and I assure you it is not!) Owen enjoys eating food out of the little compartments and using a fork!  He gobbled up three (THREE!) servings of stewed lentils and tomatoes and left his "ta-toes" in the plate. With all the tomatoes and vinegar I ate while I was pregnant there is no doubt this boy is 100% MY SON.

Ohio overnight

This past weekend we traveled back to Ohio for a wedding. It was kind of last minute because Jeremy couldn't get off work, but he found someone to cover him on Sunday so we left on Saturday after rounds, and drove 5hrs straight through to Cincinnati for the wedding. It was a little stressful, and Owen only napped in the car for 45 minutes so by the time we got there he was A ZOMBIE. He looked cute enough though, and sat on our laps and sucked him thumb the entire night.  We didn't get any good pictures of him all dressed up, by the time we thought of it -- it was dark and he was way too tired to be happy for the camera.

Oh yea, THAT. Owen apparently sucks him thumb now. He's starting to wean, and as he drops feedings he has started sucking his thumb NON-STOP. We're hoping its a phase, but we'll see.

Saturday night we stayed with my best friend, Scott. He bought a house a few months ago and was so happy to have company. We arrived pretty late after the reception, and figured we'd let O stay up until he passed out (hoping to avoid the crying marathon) so there we were PARENTS OF THE YEAR eating pizza at 1am WITH OUR BABY.

But as soon as we started towards bed, THE CRYING. Again he cried until he passed out nursing. I was so delirious, I don't even know what time it was and I'm pretty sure Jeremy was passed out on the floor with a pillow over his head. Thankfully, the house was well insulated so Scott didn't hear a thing.

The next day we soaked in some of our favorite things in Ohio - Cracker Barrel, shopping for Buckeye's gear for our little family and then eating a ridiculous amount of Graeter's ice cream before heading back to Pittsburgh. 

It was a lot of driving for an overnight trip - but there is something about walking into a Wendy's and seeing a huge block "O" flag that will always make my heart smile.

"Happeee Babyyyy!"

He likes to wear this pink oven mitt around the house after nap time

Owen is quite the talker, he talks from the time he wakes up from the time he goes to sleep. Out of no where last week he started saying, "Happy! Happpee Babyyyy!"  I don't think he knows what it means (because he said it one time when he was crying, LOL!) but it melts my heart. I'm pretty sure he got it from me, because ever since he was a tiny cub I ask him, "Are you happy baby?" But I don't say it quite as often as I used to, so I guess he wanted to tell me that he is ;)

18 months has been both a blessing and a challenge. Owen is on the move, exerting his independence, talking up a storm and is very, very attached to me. We ended up cutting our trip to Maryland short because Owen FRRRREAKED out in the hotel room. We tried to put him down for a nap that afternoon, but he refused to sleep in the travel crib (same one we've always used on trips). So I let him sleep on me while he nursed for about 45 minutes and then off we went with our day.

That night we did our usual bedtime routine with him, but as soon as we laid him down at 9pm he started into COMPLETE HYSTERICS. We tried picking him up, rocking him, singing to him, letting him sleep with us - nothing worked. Around 1:30 we figured "forget it" and we took off his sleep sack and let him walk around. He continue to SCREAM, running around like a honey badger opening drawers, throwing shoes, pacing in circles, climbing over furniture. Totally inconsolable. Jeremy and I were pretty frazzled and worried about getting kicked out of the sold-out hotel, but I have to admit, his delirious actions were actually quite comical and we ended up laughing hysterically - since we were tired ourselves. Around 3:30 I finally nursed him to sleep and passed out in the bed.

I guess traveling is going to be a little challenging for my Owen (and his very tired parents) for a while!

If anyone has any suggestions for traveling with a fearful toddler - I'd love to hear them!

He also likes to wear this plastic ring (trash) from the diaper genie 

...and sometimes... he wears them BOTH :)

Swallow Falls Hike

During our visit to Deep Creek, MD we hiked a really great park called Swallow Falls. Owen was very happy to be carried in the pack carrier, since he was very tired by the time we started hiking. There were several waterfalls there and since it was our first time we were a little unprepared for swimming, but on a return visit we will definitely bring our suits and water shoes!

tired boy stayed up all night scared in a new place