Letter: Three Weeks of Happy

Dearest Gillen,

I've been writing this letter to you in my mind since the moment I laid eyes on you but I'm afraid with a newborn and a toddler to take care of, a delayed letter from your Mama is only the first of many things that will come fashionably late, my precious second born. 

Three weeks later and I'm still riding the high of your birth. Everything about the day you were born was absolutely perfect. You picked the ideal time of the day to arrive. I had a good night's rest, woke, showered, ate breakfast and was able to get your brother settled allowing me peace of mind to focus on you and only you.

The afternoon light coming into the delivery room was just beautiful. With each contraction I focused on meeting you, getting to see your tiny hands and sharing you with your Daddy. You didn't disappoint, my love. You are more beautiful that I could have imagined. You have my hairline (complete with widow's peak) and almond eyes. You have your Daddy's long fingers and toes. Your whispy hair is auburn in the light and I'm anxious to see if it will stay that way.

Your cry is the loudest cry I've ever heard. You only use it when you're hungry. You're hungry a lot. You latched right from the start and have nursed perfectly ever since. My milk came in on the second day, much to your delight and it has filled you out quite nicely. I'm so happy to nurse you whenever you want day and night. I needed you to nurse well. I needed you to eat, and not be jaundice and to gain weight. And you did. You are so strong and solid. I honestly cannot believe you are my child, back to birth weight in 72 hours and already outgrown your newborn diapers. Part of it was you, but a lot of it was me.Your brother taught me how to dance this dance. How to love and nurse and care for someone new. You can thank him for that. I know I have.

You sleep. You sleep unswaddled and right from the start you've given me a four hour stretch of sleep all but twice. I'm tired but less tired than I thought I'd be with two. Because you're eating and sleeping. The naps you take on my chest are some of my favorite. I love smelling you underneath my chin, cuddling your snuggly body. 

Your Daddy and I are basking in your every stretch and grunt. We fight over who gets to hold you, nap with you, coo and smile at you. We're enjoying having a newborn. We know it will be gone all too quickly. We missed out on some of this with your brother because we were too busy being clumsy first-time parents. We wished it away amidst our struggles. Not this time, we're holding on tight to your smell and your milky sleep smiles. We notice how different you look each day and we celebrate each roll that emerges on your body. You are an absolutely beautiful boy. We can't wait to learn more about you and see your personality emerge, yet we want to stop time and soak in every minute of now with you. 

From the moment you were born I thought to myself "I am so HAPPY." You filled every corner of my heart with love and every day since I cannot stop thinking about how happy I am. Just happy. With you, because of you, because of everything surrounding your birth up until now. All happiness.

I knew it would be wonderful, I just didn't know how wonderful. I'm so glad you chose us, we love you so completely and effortlessly. Thank you for the happiness you brought with you, it was a welcomed surprise.

All my love,
Mama