And then we settled into a rhythm and ditched the shield and I remember crystal clear one afternoon when he was 4 months old, he fell asleep nursing in my bed and just before I dozed off I thought to myself, "THIS! This makes it all worth it. This is what everyone was talking about." My perfect nursing moment. And then his first tooth came in, and more teeth and biting, and acrobatics and now popping off to talk to me while he's nursing (most often saying,"Da-dee?" or some random animal noise) and now nursing is intertwined with how we exist together. It happens when it happens and doesn't when it doesn't.
We moved when O was a newborn so I nursed him as our little family explored our new city. The beautiful part about all of this is that my first memories of so many of the places we frequent, involve nursing Owen. I remember nursing Owen in the Target parking lot. I remember nursing Owen in a booth at Panera. At my doctor's office and at brunch with friends. Almost every place we go in Pittsburgh has a spot where I nursed my tiny Owen. There is a bench at the park where we sat and nursed while on a walk with friends. This is my favorite memory because a young, college-co-ed type guy came up to us and showed us his dog. He said hello and looked me right in the eyes and smiled. He didn't shy away, he didn't pull his dog away to avoid the crazy woman nursing her child in the middle of a public park. He smiled and waited until my friend's toddler was done petting his dog. Said goodbye and walked on as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
I've always been discrete about nursing. We use a cover, I turn away. I try to find a private booth in the corner of the restaurant. Not because I am embarrassed but because I don't want to be made uncomfortable by stares or dirty looks just as much as I don't want to make other people uncomfortable. As Owen gets older I do find myself being more self conscious about nursing in public. He will not tolerate a cover so when he asks to nurse I try to distract him and nurse as soon as we get somewhere more private. Its fairly easy for me to be discrete as I can mostly cover my breast with my shirt while he's nursing and he doesn't care just so long as he can still see me so I'm not sure what my hang-up is. I nursed him on the plane when we went to Asheville a few months ago and I contemplated lying about his age - because for some reason its acceptable for a 11 month old to still be nursing but not a 13 month old.
The other day after our shorts-try-on session I had to run into Target for a few things. Owen was already a cranky mess from taking a short nap and then being forced into a bazillion clothing changes so by the time we walked into Target he was having none of it. I put him in the Ergo because I knew he would want to jump out of the cart. He fussed and waved his little hand around in front of my face pumping his fist to show me the sign for "baby milk" (as if I didn't already know what he wanted). I needed to grab a few things, but I wanted him to be okay. So I unbuttoned the top of my shirt, and I nursed him while I shopped. He nursed happily with his head resting on my chest for the entire trip and while I was a little paranoid that people could see this insane woman walking around Target nursing her kid, also felt empowered. I was meeting his needs and still getting done what I needed to do. I even snapped this picture of us so now I can have two memories of Target. Nursing my tiny newborn in the back of the parking lot and calming my fussy toddler while I grabbed a new toothbrush and a pack of Clorox bathroom wipes.
I called Jeremy at work on my way home, he was in the OR and asked, "Is it important because I can act like this is work-related and leave."
"Nope" I said. "I just wanted to tell you that today I am Supermom."
And I guess I think that's pretty important :)
stealth nursing is my fav :-p its all like, look at me i'm doing xyz AND IM NURSING MY BABY RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
ReplyDeletebooyah :-p
rock on mama :)
i went to put the baby to bed and i was remembering all the times i nursed Johnny in target (poor second child - we don't live terribly close to one, so he's missed out. although he HAS nursed at the commissary!).
ReplyDeletewe used to hang out at tar-jay a lot when john was little because we could walk and we were poor, so it made a fun event. the BEST time to nurse at target is spring/early summer when they have their patio furniture out in the seasonal section. ahhhhh, so relaxing. and free AC :-p
it was a sad sad day when johnny was around 6 months and they changed out to the school supply section. no more lounge chairs!
Tam, you rock. I think I have said that before but you really are a supermom! I need more mommies like you in my play group so I don't feel like the black sheep for still nursing a fourteen month old! I meant to tell you that I finally found a LLL meeting to go to last week specifically geared towards nursing toddlers. It was great! Thanks for the tip =)
ReplyDeleteI miss nursing my boy. It makes my heart ache when I think about how wonderful it was, nourishing him for 14.5 months. Enjoy every moment, Mama.
ReplyDeletexoxo
this is great. Followed your link on Kellymom's FB post. Anyways, I'm nursing my 2nd child, 18 months old. First son nursed til 18 mo. then weaned, but #2 is going strong with no end in sight. This time though, I live in a more conservative area and feel like I'm the only "freak" doing "extended nursing". Whatever that means anyways! But even though sometimes I feel socially awkward about it, I'm persevering and remembering that this is the way to normalize it. I don't cover up, no one can see a thing anyways, and my new response to the "oh, he's STILL nursing?!? when do you plan to stop?" is to say casually, "Oh, new research by World Health Org. suggests nursing til at least the age of 2. Hadn't you heard??" :D Way to be a supermom, and take the best possible care of your sweet child.
ReplyDeleteYou are my hero.
ReplyDelete