Older on the outside

Dearest Owen,

I looked at the calendar this week and realized you are 38 weeks old. You've now lived longer outside my belly than inside. Somehow the time has past us by so much faster out here. I look down at you in my arms and I struggle to picture the tiny, vulnerable boy we welcomed into the world. Instead that baby in my arms has been replaced with a smiley, willful boy wearing twelve-month pajamas! How is this the same baby? Where did the time go? I grew you inside and though the months felt long and tiring I knew it would be worth it - now as you grow on the outside I know the true meaning of exhaustion and the feeling of endless love that makes everyday better than the next. When you are still and your eyelashes begin to flutter with sleepy dreams, I stare at you in amazement that you are MINE, excited to know that we have an entire lifetime together. I want to remember my 8-month-old you --- your round cheeks, your pink pouty lips, your little chubby fingers wrapped around mine. I know soon I will look down and I won't be able to picture the baby I see today - because in his place will be a toddler, and then a child and then a grown boy who won't fit in my lap but will always consume my heart. Just like you have since the day you were born.

My love for your spills over into every cell of my being. You continue to be the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Happy 38 weeks!

all my love,

Mama