These might just be your two favorite things right now, "cozy jammies" and tools (well, and Curious George). You insist on wearing fleece pants around the house, for nap and for bedtime. It is becoming impossible for me to keep them laundered and in your drawer. You LOVE tools right now. We finally found you a drill that works [one of your many Big Brother presents] and you run out to the playroom first thing in the morning to get to work with your tools. You hammer your crib "fixing it" and screw in these screws endlessly throughout the day.
This has also been our most challenging month to date. You have come into your own as a toddler and terrible twos have entered our house like none other. It's hard to know how much of it is your struggle with Gillen's arrival and how much of it is just being two but it has been so hard for me. Last week your tantrums, cries, and general disagreement brought me to tears every single night. I wondered if bringing home Gillen had changed our relationship and honestly struggled to remember the happy boy I spoiled to death the week before his birth. People tell me that this too shall pass, and I'm trying not to wish our days away but I want nothing more than for you to wake with happy smiles rather than tears and tantrums. I want you to settle in bed before midnight and eat something other than green beans and peanut butter.
But then you - with your two and a half years of life - amaze me with your insight, your comprehensive vocabulary and understanding of what we say. When we talk you always ask if there is one word you don't understand. The other day you asked your daddy, "What is a customer?" -- such hard questions from you! "Why?" is your favorite question right now and you are facinated with how things work. The other day you pointed to the wheels of our car as we were getting in and said, "When the car starts these wheels are going to spin around." Yes. Yes they are. You start conversations with strangers and always begin by asking them, "Are YOU a big brother?" (even if you're talking to a lady :)) You tell them your name is Owen, you are three (which you are not, my love) and that you have a baby brother named Gillen. I love this so much about you and it makes me so happy when strangers engage you in conversation.
You are a wonderful big brother.You've all but stopped asking if we can take baby Gil back to the hospital and I think you have forgotten what it was like without him. Whenever you talk about our family, you include your brother. It melts me. When your brother is screaming in the car, as he often does, we ask you to hold his hand. You usually answer with, "I'd be happy to" and he quiets down immediately. It's amazing really. You are a loving and devoted big brother. I am so incredibly proud of you.
Two and a half is hard and wonderful. I guess that describes parenthood for the most part. You are still my baby and my heart aches for you when we are apart. Let's make a deal - I promise to keep those cozy pants clean if you promise to take it easy on my Mama heart and limit yourself to two tantrums a day.
Two I can handle. As long as the rest of the day is filled with your hugs and smiles.
Forever and ever I love you more than all of the stars in the sky. All of them.
Mama
so many tears...ugh. I need to stop reading your blog until after this baby comes.
ReplyDeleteThese past few weeks with with C have been torture and just like you I am trying to remember my sweet precious boy before he hit this stage of life. Does he know something big is about to rock his world? Is it just normal toddler stuff? Who knows but we are definitely struggling. Here's hoping it passes quickly and we can keep our mama tears to a minimum xoxoxo