Six Months Old

Dearest Owen,

Your fifth month of life went by faster than any month so far. Perhaps it was because you've stopped fussing in the car, or because you took extra long naps. It may have been our afternoons filled with snuggling and learning new things or the thousands of smiles you flash on a daily basis. I think it was because you were an absolute joy this month, and dare I say it - an easy baby. 

I am getting to know you more and more everyday. You grab my face and try to eat it with your mouth wide open whenever you are hungry. You are always ready for a nap exactly ninety minutes after you wake up in the morning - regardless of how long you slept that night.  If you are tired when we're out and about you'll fuss with a tired cry for about five minutes before falling asleep in your car seat or carrier. You and I are figuring it out, sweet boy. You are my constant companion and I love having you with me.

You are such a curious and social butterfly. You love to watch other kids and you smile at anyone who looks your way. You take well to other people, but even when I hand you over to Daddy - you're constantly looking around for me, just to make sure I'm not far from reach. You love to play with your toys and you can roll back and forth and pop up on your arms when you're on your tummy. I love when you do this because you wrench your neck to look all around with your big blue eyes. Everything, I mean, EVERYTHING goes in your mouth, just to be coated in buckets of drool. We noticed a few weeks ago that your bottom gums are swollen, so by next month I'm sure those little teeth will pop in for visit.

This month you started nursing for food AND for comfort. In the past, you've been all business at the breast. Eat and done, pushed me away. Now my love, you would nurse for hours if I let you (and sometimes I do). I lay you down on my bed before our nap and you turn on your side, open your mouth and hold out your hands pumping your little fingers waiting for me to get settled in. I snuggle you and nurse you while you drift off to sleep. This is my favorite part of the day, and if nursing you to sleep is bad habit - consider me addicted because these afternoons curled up with you is worth it. These are the moments I fought so hard for and I am treasuring this change in our nursing relationship.

We successfully started you on some solid foods once a day. You tolerate it, but don't love it. I end up spending most of the time with my own mouth wide open (hoping you'll follow suit) making up ridiculous songs and noises to keep your attention on eating. What a sight we are each morning! I've been making your food with fresh fruits and vegetables and freezing it. You'll eat rice cereal and pureed avocado (drenched in breastmilk of course!) but so far you've shown a blatant dislike for sweet potatoes. If you're still in a good mood when the food is mostly gone, I let you play with the bowl and spoon. What a mess you make my boy! A big, huge adorable mess. I'm picking whatever you ate out of your hair and ears throughout the day. What fun is food without the mess anyway?

We are beginning to see a little boy in you and losing some of your newborn-ness. These changes are bittersweet for me, I miss the tiny person I brought home from the hospital, but I am excited at how much you've grown and changed. I wonder about you. I wonder if you will be shy and if you will love to read. I wonder what color your big boy hair will be and what your voice will sound like. I have little hopes for you - I hope you will ask to take piano lessons and always want to cuddle with me in the mornings when you wake up. I hope more than anything that you are confident and secure. That you know without a doubt that you are loved and appreciated.

Having you has made me present. Just the wonder of you being here, me caring for you and helping you to flourish amazes me. I am more proud of this than any other accomplishment in my life. I am more thankful for everything - the rain, the smell of fresh baby laundry, my time alone with your Daddy - I'm aware and I am grateful because I was blessed with you.

I love your chubs, I love your smile and if I could freeze you just as your are right now - I would. Just for a little while longer so I could continue to bask in your perfection. But grow you must and grow you will - I love you just the same.

All my love,

Mama