Two Month Check Up

Today was Owen's two month well baby visit. I was dreading it all week because my sweet babe would have his first immunizations and because the office we go to doesn't order combo vaccines, my little cub would be getting FIVE SHOTS.

Leading up to the visit I knew Owen had not chubbed up the way we would have liked. He has been struggling with the nipple shield and nursing for two hours at a time with seemingly no satisfaction. Even though his pediatrician told us last month to let him sleep for a six hour stretch at night, his longest was 4.5 hours. All of this was making for a very exhausted Mommy. Over the past two days O began to reject the nipple shield all together but seemed to be latching on and draining my breasts in about a half hour. The past two days had gone fairly well, so I was beginning to be optimistic.

Owen was in such a sweet mood when we brought him to his visit - cooing and smiling. We stripped him down to his diaper and put him on the scale and of course he wailed. As the nurse moved the ticker, our hearts sank. 9 lbs 11 oz. Owen had not even gained a pound since his last visit four weeks ago. His head circumference was also behind -falling from the 50th percentile to the 25th, but luckily our little string bean was right on track with his length.

Weight: 9 lbs 11 ounces - 15th percentile
Length: 23.5 inches - 50th percentile

We told her Owen smiled but about two weeks later than expected. We also had to confess that Owen hates tummy time and refuses to lift his head and push up with his arms. His pediatrician was concerned about all of these issues. She observed his apathetic tummy time, and noted that his neck and arms were weak - although his legs are VERY strong. She ordered some blood work to check his hemoglobin and thyroid levels. She instructed us to monitor his food intake and never to let him go longer than 3 hours without eating during the day, with only one long stretch at night.

...and then the nurse walked in with Owens vaccines. SHIT. I totally forgot. I attempted to feed Owen while the nurse fumbled around with the injections. We opted to hold off on Hep B for another month to avoid the 5th injection but the screams coming from my poor babe after four needle sticks were simply torture.

The pediatrician was also not happy to hear my paid maternity leave was denied. She wrote a note last month requesting I stay home for six more weeks with Owen to establish breastfeeding. HR notified me last week that I could take the time, but it would be unpaid because "breastfeeding is not a medical diagnosis and plenty of mothers pump and have perfectly healthy babies." Because Jeremy doesn't start his job until July we couldn't go without income so I went back to work this week. After today's visit his pediatrician called HR and two hours later I received a phone call, "Mrs. Reese, we received a call from Owen's doctor and your sick time has been approved through the end of May. Please stay home and be with your son. We hope things get better soon."

Owen didn't latch for the rest of the day and refused the shield. Each time I sobbed over my sweet babe as Jeremy warmed a bottle of pumped milk for him. He was tired and clingy all evening and I just wanted the day to be over.

All this made for very overwhelmed Mamma. I felt like complete failure - today just wasn't what we wanted to hear. I know things could be much worse and I have so much to be thankful for. Overall we have a happy, healthy son. I have the most incredibly supportive husband any woman could ask for. Me and O just need to get over this little hump. I am praying we can get him back on track. I am praying I can dig deep inside me and find that confident Mamma that I so badly want to be. Can you help me find her?