There is a tube in the baby aisle labeled "butt paste" and something tells me it's not for teeth

Do you remember in My Big Fat Greek Wedding (tangent: that movie was the first unofficial date hubs and I ever went on 11/22/2002 – wow times flies!) when the Dad carries around a bottle of Windex claiming that it fixes all aliments imaginable? Scrapes, cuts, severed limbs? Windex. Stain remover? Windex. Prepubescent acne breakouts? Windex. I think you get the point.

ANYWHO, I know I’m not Greek, but I AM getting rounder and love kalamata olives so I thought I’d share with you my own personal Windex.

AQUAPHOR.

I swear on hot dogs I would marry this odorless gel if I could. I used it LONG before I was pregnant. My husband laughs at me (because making fun of one another is actually essential to a healthy marriage) because no matter what ails us; I always suggest putting Aquaphor on it! He tries to doctor me up all the time - I have suggestions too, you know?

Dry skin ANYWHERE, cuticles, cuts, scrapes, foot calluses, burns, blisters, dry lips, cat paws, pickle jars. You name it – I PUT AQUAPHOR THERE. It’s great as a lip gloss over some classy red lipstick or under your nose after hours of blowing and wiping. It’s soothing, gentle and lasts forever!

Which is why I CANNOT WAIT to slather it on my beautiful baby. Oh the plethora of new uses! Cracked nipples? Yes. Diaper rash? Yes. Under eye wrinkles? YES!

I was tickled silly today when I found out it comes in a baby travel size.


Purse? YES. Diaper bag? YES. The only thing I can foresee it not being good for is spinning around in the dryer after you’ve left this new pint-sized treasure in your pocket.

Some people dream that their cuddly little chunk face is plastered all over the Gerber baby food jars. No way, not me. I’m going to convince the makers of Aquaphor to market their amazing product with my adorable baby’s (hypothetical) big squishy cheeks

...slathered in Aquaphor.

I'm 23 weeks pregnant today! My belly hasn't changed much despite the massive amount of cupcake consumption. No one has given me wisdom this week and I'm NOT looking forward to putting together a registry. So far I have one item on it... can you guess what it is? (see current blog post)