Mama Kye-ing

My grandfather recently passed away and somehow 93 years just didn't feel like long enough. We shared a birthday and a love of strawberry shortcake, sweet gherkin pickles and candy. I spent the last five years making a memory box in my mind of our fleeting moments together and when he was gone, I was at peace with my efforts though missing him greatly.

When Owen was born I felt an urgency to bring him to meet my grandfather. I wanted "that picture" of Owen and "Pop-Pop" that even though he won't ever remember grandpa's crystal blue eyes or sneaky smile, there is evidence that the two of them existed in the same moment. There is proof that my grandfather, proud to a fault, reveled in his grandchildren and great-grandchildren which included baby Owen.

At five months old, Owen and I flew to Tampa to visit my grandparents.

And this is the picture of the two of them meeting for the very first time.

This past weekend we flew to Tampa again, this time to celebrate my grandfather's life. Our family memorialized the man who made us all possible and lots of really beautiful things were said as my sweet toddler sat on my lap playing with my dangling earring saying, "Mama, pretty."  Owen seemed unphased by the emotions of the service but aware enough to stay relatively quiet.

Since we've been back Owen has started saying, "Mama kye-ing"  at first I had no idea why he was saying that I was crying and then I realized when he followed it with, "Uncle Dane" (my brother) or "Ry Emma baby turtles" (my cousin and his fiance who he had tomatoes with) that he was remembering the service. Today when he woke up from his nap, the first thing he said was "Mama Kye-ing" and I told him that Mama cried because she was sad. I reminded him that its okay to cry when we are sad and when we are happy.

If it is true that empathy and love are learned, then we are doing something right. Because even if Owen will never remember my grandfather - he will have remembered my sadness and from that memory his inquisitive mind will find its way to empathy and love.

And those are the two things I need the most right now.