A post because going to the bathroom takes up a much larger percentage of my day than it used to

So apparently there was bathroom-related explosion (YUM!) at my work last week while I was in Colorado. ALL of the bathrooms were out of service and people were asked to walk (outside! brrrr!) over to the next building to use the facilities. One of my coworkers said she was thinking about how inconvenient that was going to be for me. Inconvenient is an understatement. It would have totally SUCKED for me waddle over there twenty times a day feeling like I was going to wiz myself only to produce a teaspoon of urine which dribbles out at a snails pace.

Luckily when I returned to work on Monday, only the bathroom on our floor remains closed. My options have been to walk UP a flight of stairs or DOWN a flight of stairs. After an extensive clinical trial (N=1) I've concluded that less pee leaks out if I walk DOWN the stairs, rather than UP. So down the stairs I go...twenty times a day.

Yesterday I talked to my dad on my cell phone after such a journey and he said, "Why are you breathing so hard into the phone? Are you having problems breathing now?"

No Dad, I just had to pee. AGAIN.

But there are two things that I really appreciate now that I am round and full of over two pounds of bouncing baby.

First, The handicapped bathroom (angels sing). While I've never gone as far as to push aside a qualified individual to race to this stall (yet) - it is so nice that because I am short (medium sized actually) the handicap toilet greets my booty mid squat (so what if my feet don't touch the ground) AND I can reach the toilet paper! It's so amazing.

And second, when I sit down on the toilet my Buddha belly rests comfortably on my quadriceps. And while I found this utterly unnerving at first (kind of like my GI-NORMOUS boobs being shelved on my belly) - I can feel my sweet baby kick ON MY THIGHS! This makes me giggle.

Pregnant woman with feet dangling off the pot giggling in the handicap stall = priceless

I'm just waiting for him to kick me, in the boob.

Me circa 1982